Wednesday, 24 March 2010

Improve your life, improve your website.

Do you have a boring website? Does it lack a special quality? Does it lack high impact articles written by a modest, but at the same time brilliant article writer?

Well I may be able to help you with your shitty, worthless website, and possibly your life at the same time. My Name is Leonard, and I'm a highly experienced Article Writer, Cartoonist and Spiritualist. I can write you an article for your website that will engage your readers, who quite frankly are probably completely bored at having nothing to read on your website. I can also produce wonderful, original cartoons that will increase customers and inspire them to spend lots of money on your online store.

Some areas of expertise that I can write articles on include:

  • Relationship advice (I've had many many relationships in my time - so  I know what I'm talking about)
  • Basic car maintenance (mostly covering any model Vauxhall made between 1980 - 1992)
  • Hedge Trimmers
  • Argos Returns Policy
  • Gel pens (Glitter and regular)
  • How to  manipulate Google into giving your worthless site a much higher ranking than decent, interesting sites. 
So there you have it. For a very reasonable hourly fee (starting from only £20) you too could have a website, without having to write any decent content for it yourself.


  1. God, mine's dead boring, Leonard. Why didn't I think of covering all those areas you mention above?

    My blog does, of course, but I haven't even earned £20 off it yet!

  2. Cathy, I'm sure your blog is almost as good as mine. To be honest, I've not earned as many £20 notes as I hoped, when I quit my real job in a flurry of optimism back in February.

    It's fortunate for me that my Landlord is in Cypress for another 2 months and doesn't realise how far behind I am on the rent. With any luck, he'll be kidnapped by crazed french terrorists.

    P.S. I prefer Guru Cathy.