Guess the celebrity characterature

Can you guess who this celebrity is?

I have decided to start the new year of 2012 with a fun contest for all my readers. How the contest works is thus: I draw a cartoon caricature of a well known TV or Movie celebrity, and then people leave comments stating what they think it is.


As you can see from this first (of many I hope) contest entry I have now become an accomplished cartoon caricature artist, making instantly recognizable caricatures of celebrity faces. I can also provide YOU with an unique gift for a loved one, or someone who is retiring (and you'll no doubt never see again before they die).


Contact me if you'd like a celebrity portrait caricature. Prices start from just £20 + VAT and fees.  

Combining Jobs with my love of art.

I have recently started working for a home care agency as a bum wiper and cook. It's a great job really. The wages aren't too bad, but of course this isn't my real ambition in live. What I really want to be is a artist (with lots of money of course). I find drawing really easy, as you will see from the example below.


I love the dignity in this close up of her face. A face that must have seen so much over it's 80 odd years!

Ethel is a sweet old lady that I see every Thursday morning. She lives on here own, but despite this has taken a keen interest in my artwork. She thinks my artwork is lovely, and what better judge for the skill of my artistic ability than an old woman, who's had both cataracts done, and remembers how many children she had.


Unfortunately, I don't get much time with Ethel, as my visits are limited to just 15 minutes, so I could only do a very quick sketch - but she loves it and has shown it to her daughter! Here's the full sketch below:

Hope you like it. If you'd like a sketch doing of an old relative then please get in touch. Prices start from just £20. If it's a rush job (i.e. Granny might not last much longer) then the price will have to reflect this!

Hilarious Valentine's day joke for those in love with a street cleaner/hygiene operative.

Happy Valentines Day to all my readers. Here's a cartoon that I did recently (for today) for a friend of mine who is in love with a street sweeper. The friend didn't want me to sign the card, just in case in caused confusion as to who it was from, so I didn't, but I did sign it on here so people could see that it's another original Leonard Cartoon and that it's copyrighted by me, Leonard Gubbins. I drew this in a Viz style as my friend thinks that he's the sort that might read the Viz Comic. I'll let you know if she gets anywhere, or indeed, if she is indeed sweeped off her feet (as she hopes). It would be nice if her daughter Kylie had a little sister, I think.

Community Relations.

Another popular cartoon from my archives. This one nearly appeared in a school newsletter about community relations between the authorities and young people, but the head of year thought it might corse offence. Oh well. Educations loss, is you're gain (as a reader of this blog!).


I don't hold back when I'm using my cartoons to make cutting comentary on current issues in today's multicultural society. Today a maverick, tommorrow an inspired genius that new what was going on all the time? Perhaps!

A woman squirts.

Why o why o why o why do we not have more women firemen? If I was going to phone the fire brigade, it would be nice to think that perhaps there was a small chance that they would send a fire tender full of lovely young ladies, perhaps in tight red t-shirts, would be coming to save my front porch from being badly burnt.

This country is not once it once thus was.

*I've been asked to point out that I am no longer permitted to contact the local fire chief via post due to the previous volume of my correspondence (allegedly constituting harassment).

I thought it was a good idea.

Well that wasn't very impressive.

Why is it that whenever men drink alcohol they promise to cut the lawn the following weekend, and then spew up in the toilet before leaving the house to find a kebab house, even though you live in a small village that doesn't even have a chip shop?

And then don't cut (or mow) the lawn the following weekend (because they are having an operation or something stupid like that?)

*still image from future projected animation short for children's TV (Channel 5?)

Tea Towel Misery. Not my fault.

No one knows how hard it is. I sit here, in between re-runs of Cash In The Attic, and Diagnosis Murder She Wrote wondering what I can drawer the people will hand over hard cash to have printed on a tea towel. It's not as easy as I thought it was going to be all those months ago. Sourcing Tea Towels that don't have a heavy Gingham pattern is the hardest part of the whole process.

Where can I buy plain cotton tea towels without any pattern on?

Perhaps I shouldn't have taken all those orders. Perhaps those people will never order something every again from the Internet because of me. Wedding anniversary's ruined, engagement parties cancelled. And it's all because of the tea towel mafia in this country that insist on ONLY making Gingham tea towels.

Perhaps with the new Government we are about to get, things will change and we can move this economy forwards.

I'm currently processing orders for shopping bags without zips. I hope I can find some.

Creating new areas of business for the cartoon market business.

I am often asked how I sell my cartoons to so many varied clients. Parish magazines, missing cat posters, local business directories etc. The reason that I sell so many wonderful cartoons to so many dull publications is that I approach them and suggest that they publish my cartoons. I start with an impartial appraisal of their publication (for free) which usually confirms what I believed all along, that their publication is rather dull and needs some cartoons to brighten it up.

I then offer them a cartoon I've already drawn for free. They usually take this up, even if it has nothing to do with the nature of the publication. It's amazing how many parish magazines will publish a caraciture of LuLu, if it's offered for free. They need to fill space in their magazines, just like big name, national publications do. Once I have them 'hooked' on my unique style of drawing (a few complimentary letters to the editor always help - thanks mum!) I then send them another cartoon for the next issue, but I forget to mention that this one isn't free. Once they have published it, I send them and invoice and threaten them with legal action if they don't pay the £20 they owe me!

Obviously this trick only works once, or maybe twice, if the publication is badly organised. That's an example of parish magazines. Missing pet posters is another lucrative market place for local cartoonists. Most people put up dull photocopies of their missing pets, which is not at all eye catching. I usually take down the poster and when I get home phone the phone number. Yes, they get excited thinking you've found their beloved pet - but when I suggest that their pet might never be found without an eye catching poster, they often ask for help in making the poster better. The budget for cartoon missing pet posters is usually quite small, but with some gentle persuaction they can usually be agreed to cut back on the 'reward' money to fund a wonderful pet cartoon portrait (I charge extra if there's a funny story behind the pet going missing). An added bonus is that if the pet is never found, they still have a wonderful memento of their pet to treasure for years to come!

There's just a few ideas for all you budding cartoonists out there. Next week: Elderly dead relative caricatures, good idea or bad?

Goodbat, Nightman

Goodbat, Nightman

by Roger McGough

 

God bless all policemen

and fighters of crime,

May thieves go to jail

for a very long time.

They’ve had a hard day


helping clean up the town,


Now they hang from the mantelpiece


upside down.


A glass of warm blood


and then straight up the stairs.


Batman and Robin


are saying their prayers.

They’ve locked all the doors

and they’ve put out the bat,


Put on their batjamas

(They like doing that)


They’ve filled their batwater-bottles


made their batbeds,


With two springy battresses


for sleepy batheads.


They’re closing red eyes

and they’re counting black sheep.


Batman and Robin


Are falling asleep.


World best cartoonist.

I'm looking for the worlds best cartoonist. There's so many out there, that there must thus be 1 that everyone agrees is the worlds best. Perhaps you know a rather over-talented cartoonist that writes your favourite blog for instance? Someone who can get hundreds of thousands of hits in the space of just a few days of starting their cartoon blog? I don't think you should vote for those flashy cartoonists that get paid ridiculous amounts of money by magazine editors. Most of them think too highly of themselves as it is, and they have terrible egos that could easily get out of control.

So who can you think of that is for you, the worlds best cartoonist? First prize is a link on this very Talent Free Cartoon blog. So leave a comment.

Mother's Day is approaching!

Look out people. It'll soon be Mothers Day, and you'll miss out if you don't order her a gift soon!

These professional keep-sakes are available now. Don't delay, or you might miss out on that very special gift. Suitable for Mother's Day, Father's Day, Valentines Day, 40th Birthdays.
You're friends and loved ones will be speechless when they open a gift from Leonard Gubbins Cartoon Services (UK) Limited.