How much is too much?

I have often been asked how do I get into a line of business such as yours? I don't know what your line of business is, so I can't really answer that, but I assume they might mean (these people that I dream about) that what you mean is: How do you get into cartoons?


Cartoonists can charge anything they want to charge a customer. It's not like fridges. There is no Government price controls. Some charge £10 per cartoon (but they aren't very good if they are charging that much). and some charge £20 (these are usually better cartoonists). and sometimes as much as £2,000! It all depends how you want to use the cartoon. For instance, in my instance I would charge someone more money if they wanted to hang my cartoon in their through lounge, and I would charge less money if they just wanted to hang it in their downstairs lav. If they wanted a bespoke service, such as a limited run of tea-towels printing with a cartoon design of their favorite tortoise, or a much loved child for instance thus far and such like.

Hilarious Child/Tortoise Cartoon by Leonard Gubbins Design Studio Limited.

I've been rejected yet again!

One of the most frustrating aspects of being a successful cartoonist is the sheer volume of rejection one has to deal with on a monthly basis. I never send anything other than unique and wonderful cartoons to various magazines and trade magazines, and yet they don't even have the decency to reply to me giving me a good enough reason why they don't want my cartoons.

When I send something off to a magazine I expect them to accept the cartoons or at the very least explain themselves when they don't want my cartoons. Those that don't reply get struck off my list of publications to send to, as quite frankly I don't wish to do business with companies that employe rude cartoon editors. I now have quite a long list of publications that simply aren't worth bothering with:

• The New Yorker
• Private Eye Magazine
• Bella
• Woman's Own
• Dudley Parish News
• The Gaurdian Newspaper
• The Lancet
• The Daily Star (rejected my strip cartoon idea about boiled eggs - idiots!)
• Razzle (how they can claim my cartoon broke certain laws I don't know - they have photos of meat!)
• Viz
• The People's Friend (perhaps the cartoon should have been coloured with watercolours?)
• The Advertiser (free newspaper)
• Furniture Salesman Monthly (inc Carpet Warehouse Times)

None of these publications will now get the chance to publish any Leonard Gubbins cartoons. The way I look at it is, either take legal action against them, or just ignore them.

I've decided to start a new feature on the website today. It's going to be called THE REJECTION SECTION. Here I will publish all the cartoons that these fools have ignored so far. There's quite a lot of them, so it should be a long long running feature.

Here's the first cartoon in the Rejection Section:

I thought Bella or Woman's Own would love this hilarious cartoon as it covers women's issues quite well, while at the same time being quite funny. Sent it to both of them - heard nothing. How very rude. Perhaps the female cartoon editor had the printers in, and wasn't in a polite mood? I don't know. What I do know is that I won't be sending them any more cartoons like this!

Worldcup 2010 England aren't in it.

England are out of the world cup and some other teams are now in it instead. I don't really follow football, but I'm sure whichever team wins it, will be the best team. This got me thinking about all the traders that have been selling England memorialbeelia for the contest. They must be very upset that England are now out of the contest - think of all those flags and tea cups that they won't be able to sell now! This got me thinking that this would make a really funny cartoon, so I drew a really funny cartoon about it this morning and posted it on my blog. I hope you like it.

This cartoon is availble for sale, for publishing on blogs, tea towels (you'll have to sort out the printing yourself) and business cards.

As always, comments welcome. Anything nasty will be reported to the police.

Election selection expectation...

Well wasn't that an interesting General Election. As some of you will be aware I have been indisposed during the actual voting process, and was unable to vote myself. It was quite a surprise to come home and find that we didn't have any Government at all.

I'm quite pleased to see a sensible looking man doing a number 10, instead of that Scottish man. I don't have anything against Scottish people's as such there thus, but I don't like Scottish men who don't have a beard. Call me strange. I Think all Scottish men should have beards, like in the movies. Everything should be like in the movies, but none of these so called politicians offered that you anyone, did they?

Well I think Mr Cameron would make a great prime minister. I don't know what Mr Brown is going to do now he's been sacked from the position by the Queen. It doesn't look good on anyone's CV when you've been sacked by the Queen does it? I'm sure he'll find something to do for a living. Perhaps he could work on the Shopping Channel?

How to avoid being shafted.

These days it's very difficult to know who you can trust and who is likely to shaft you at the first opportunity. Take a simple action of a transaction in a shop. How do you know that the shop assistant isn't going to short change you when you are buying something with a £20 note that costs, say, £1.43?

Many shop assistants are very low paid. They often hardly get enough money to provide their 15 children with sufficient space hoppers or socks, so the incentive for them to make a little money on the side from unsuspecting customers is quite strong.


If the shop assistant gives you two crisp £5 notes as your change, then you have definitely been shafted. Yes, two £5 notes, especially new ones that are crisp is quite a good feeling, but THIS ISN'T ENOUGH! The best way to avoid this happening is:

• Don't go shopping at all.
• Work out what your change should be BEFORE you approach the till.
• Only pay the exact amount of money each time.

Well I hope that has helped you to avoid being shafted in shop. Next week: How to avoid being shafted in a brothel.

Colours of the Master Race

Now that the new improved jazzed up Daleks have been introduced, isn't it time to add a splash of colour elsewhere.

What about boring old nuns and vicars? They dress in loads of black and a hint of white. Dullsville Arizona.

I see pink and lime green dog collars. Purple and orange habits. That should update the image of the church.

And what about labradors? Brown, Chocolate and Black are so not now. What's wrong with a nice electric blue lab and matching pooper scooper? That should turn a few heads when you're out in the park.

Come on Britain! Let's take a lead from those super duper trendy Daleks. Emulate! Emulate!