Old style cartoonists are "squares"!

I have recently discoverd a new approach to the art of cartooning, inspired by the legendary Danny Burleigh "thecreativegenius". Instead of drawing cartoons in a boring old rectangle, like cartoonists have done for as long as they were drawing on the walls of The Daily Cave, he draws his hilarious and unique cartoons in a triangle, and calls them "sharps". To add to the creativity, he also includes a photo of himself at the side of each and every "sharp". In this post newspaper apoplectic world, I think the idea is really interesting.


The Creative Genius is indeed, very much so a genius for creating a new branch of cartooning artwork. I have attempted to recreate this style, and I don't mind telling you, it's not as easy as it looks! My triangle went a little wrong. Something I hope to improve on the more I do it. Who knows? Perhaps one day, all cartoons will be like this? I can see those so called, "expert" cartoonists resisting this new way of working (probably because it's technically difficult, and they are stuck in their ways) but I think this is the start of something big.


Expect more Dairy Lea cartoons to start popping up everywhere from today on wards.


Danny - you're a bloody genius!

New Celebrity Portraits for 2011

As you may know, I am a big fan of LuLu, and it's not just my love of healthy yogurt that makes me say that. He's the latest sketch I did of the pint sized, Scottish, pop star and advertiser of expensive margarine. It's obvious to anyone looking at this artisitic and unique sketch who it is they are looking at right away. If you have a favourite celebrity that you would like a professional sketch of, why not commission me to draw you one? Prices start from just £20.

Hilarious Used car salesman Cartoon.

I have been very busy drawing cartoons in a viz style which I hope that private eye will accept for publication (as it's printed on the same sort of paper, I think it would look good in private eye, and it's in tune with their sort of off-beat humour that they like).


I'm sorry, but I may have to remove this cartoon at the end of the week, if Paul Merton (publisher of private eye) decides to take the cartoon. It would be wonderful if they did, although I'm not sure how much they pay for a cartoon in private eye. This one took me extra time as it's in full colour, so I think they should pay more for it. Why don't they publish how much they pay for cartoons? They'd get a lot more people sending them cartoons if they did. I think it could be as much as £50 per cartoon - but I will negoitate hard when they email back to tell me they want this, as it's in full colour.


The parish newsletter market has strunk somewhat since I last wrote about it. The editor of the local one, St Mary's Parish News, has told me that they have had problems with their usual printer, and that my cartoons are not required at the moment, as the Vicars wife has created some wonderful word searches which means theirs not enough room in the current issues for cartoons! Of course I think they are being very foolish, and the circulation of the parish news will decline, especially amongst the illiterate of this parish!

I want to tattoo your arm!

I've had this great idea that I've seen on some other websites. Having drawn lots of really popular cartoons, that people just simply adore, someone that is a very good online friend has suggested that she'd quite like to see my cartoon policeman tattooed onto her arm or buttock. Now I'm not really used to tattooing people's skin. I'm more familiar with tattooing pieces of paper with a gel pen, but being the professional that I have decided to be, I have agreed to do this on her kitchen table next week!

Of course in line with my current fees having to be increased because of the imminent VAT increase, I now find myself having to charge £30 per cartoon, but the good news for my very good online friend is that the image on her arm will belong to her exclusively (so if she wants to have someone take a photo of her, with her arm attached) then I will not be charging a further license fee, unlike some other rip of cartoonists that, while making lots of money and driving flash cars like 59 plate Nissan Notes, will exploit their customers. The arm image will belong to her, as sure as any infection will also be entirely her responsibility.


It seems her father was once a policeman, until he was pushed out of the force for an unfortunate incident with a potato peeler and a repeat offender in the late 1980's, and as a tribute to her dad, she'd like a tattoo with the image below. I think that's a lovely thing for a daughter to do for her father. Heavily tattooed daughters, always love their daddies. That is clear.


Now to hit Google, or TalentWriter Community Website for articles on how to tattoo an arm or bottom with a fatherly tribute.

How to pass your driving test.

Passing your driving test is very important if you are wanting to drive to the local post office, or perhaps further a field (although if you wish to drive over fields you might want to consider buying a 4x4). What ever you are driving to the shops for (gel pens or stamps) you must have a driving license which you can get from passing a driving test.


Some people find it helpful to have something that's called "Driving Lessons" before they have a "Driving Test". You can get these lessons from a "Driving Instructer" who you will find driving around in a Vauxhall Corsa in your home town. Flag one down today and ask him how much he charges for a lesson. It's important to do this with quite a few "driving instructers" as they all charge different prices.


Once you have found a Driving Instructer that you like the charge he'll make of you, then you can book some lessons until you feel ready for a driving test.


Driving tests are conducted at a "Driving Test Centre" although you will be expected to drive away from the centre at some point, and maybe around your local town a little bit. You may also be required to take a theory test if you were born after 1996. Once you have passed your test - you can now drive to the local post office or Spar*

*You may require a car to drive to the local Post Office or Spar.

Cartoons for your Goldfish.

I've had a brilliant idea today that I'm going to have to copyright protect from being stolen. I have written down this idea and posted it to myself within a special gauranteed envelope, therefor copyrighting it for the future so I can protect this idea from being stolen by one of the Den Dragons or Richard Branston (who actually stole the idea for Branston Pickle!).

My idea safely protected I can now reveal it to the millions of people who could find this website if they only used Google properly. It is a well known fact that Goldfish like to have pictures behind their aquariums, and this is usually just some pretty coloured prints of plants and shipwrecks and stuff like that. I thought there's a gap in the market here for an idea that would replace the boring static pictures of underwater scenes, with a collection of cartoons (fish based or not?) This would provide continued interest for any visitors you had at your home, as they would see something different each time they looked at the aquarium.

I'm seeking £3,000 for 5% of the Fishy Backgrounds Limited. For this I will buy an A3 printer and some packaging equipement. Here's an example of the sort of designs I'm talking about (copyright protected).