This is my entry into the 113 (perhaps I should have known, such an unlucky number) and it scored precisely NOTHING! Now I understand that other cartoonist find my art work intimidating, and that some of them like to stick to the rules of the contest, but I entered this in enough time for at least one or two of them to vote for me. It was not my fault that my next door neighbour had an issue with their garden appliance, that as a good citizen, I felt obliged to assist with, therefore missing the "technical" closing time for entries.
I even offered an explanation of the cartoon, for those less intelligence than myself, as it was a caption less contest.
I realize that some of the readers of this very website are not gifted in the brains department either, so here is the explanation of the cartoon, so you can find it as hilarious as I do.
This is a Robot that has scared the poor child. Hair is sticking up on end to emphasize that the child finds the Robot scary.
Well, let me tell you. That could be the last time I assist a neighbour with their garden appliances, OR the last time I enter the cartoon contest. I haven't decided yet. I'm still seething at the lack of respect shown to me!
This week I have decided against publishing one of my hilarious cartoons that you all love (to have on tea towels etc). and I have decided to post some serious artwork instead. This is a portrait of my wife I did when I got my new bamboo graphics tablet, and shortly before she left me! That was lucky, as I doubt she'd sit for a portrait now.
So even serious art can be poignant and sad. Not always about having a laugh. My psychiatrist has told me that these feelings will pass soon, as long as I continue with the medication and stop drinking Stella. Truth be told, I haven't been to the local social club for over three weeks now, and that's nothing to do with the graffiti in the gents (wasn't me!).
So if you'd like a lovely portrait of your wife, get in touch quick - before she leaves you and you loose the chance to have a lovely portrait of your wife. Fees start from just £20 plus postage fee*
*This design is not available on a tea towel, due to legal advice.
Much has been said during history about the different flavours of washing up liquid. I'm here today to dispel some of the mystery surrounding the different flavours, and you help you, the listener to decide which one is the best for your own domestic situation.
Recently I had the great pleasure of sampling many different flavours of washing up liquid. This is NOT about dishwasher tables. You'll have to go elsewhere for something like that sort of thing!
I started my research with a bottle of Fairy, lemon flavour. After washing up a cup, I let it air dry for approximately 4 hours, before I made a cup of tea in it.
Tasting the tea, it tasted like tea.
Next I washed the same cup with Co-Op Mint flavour washing up liquid (with anti-bacterial agents). I deciding that leaving the cup each and every time for 4 hours to air dry would take far too long, so I used a Matalan Blue Check Tea towel this time to dry to cup and wait for the kettle to boil. (Rusell Hobs).
Tasting the tea, it tasted like tea. I was expecting it to taste like mint tea, but it did not taste like mint tea at all in the slightest.
I was about to test the Tesco Lavender flavour washing up liquid, when my wife/girlfriend came home from her job as an admin assistant for the local abattoir. She insisted on knowing why I had opened two new bottles of washing liquid, and was I going through that stage where I was mixing random household products again, and on, and on. and why hadn't I peeled the potatoes for the spag bol she had planned! (we don't like pasta in this house).
I decided it might be better to finish this experiment at a later day or date.
