Introducing My ALL new Childrens book.

I've always wanted to be a writer, but not having much time to devote to writing a proper book, I have come to the conclusion that it would be much easier to just knock out a Childrens book instead. 
This is an ideal project for me, for thus I can add some pictures to the book. This saves on words needed (children don't like books with too many words anyway, as everyone knows they are fundamentally lazy), and I possess unique skills in my drawing abilities of drawing 2 of the most difficult subjects in the world of cartoonists - FISH and BICYCLES!

So I introduce to you, loyal visitor - Geoffry the Bike Riding GOLDFISH ©.

Unfortunatly I haven't had time to actually write the story as of yet, but I thought I'd start with the front cover (for this is where I believe my potential readers will start anyway, and I can't see any sense in starting this book on, say, page 47)

I have spent most of the last 20 minutes thinking of some fun stories that Geoffry might get up to.

• Geoffry dodges his TV license fee, and hides from the dreded TV inspector
• Geoffry has his online shopping delievered by Asda or Tesco (needs more work to decide which works best for a GOLDFISH riding bicycalist).
• Geoffry gets into a nasty legal battle with his arch enemy, Sammy the Skateboarding Salmon.

I've based the stories I've yet to write down (but I have copyrighted them ©) on my own life, but I would like to state and not just for legal reasons, but for moral reasons as well, that I do possess a TV license. It's £145.50 per year and I pay by cheque.

Community Relations.

Another popular cartoon from my archives. This one nearly appeared in a school newsletter about community relations between the authorities and young people, but the head of year thought it might corse offence. Oh well. Educations loss, is you're gain (as a reader of this blog!).


I don't hold back when I'm using my cartoons to make cutting comentary on current issues in today's multicultural society. Today a maverick, tommorrow an inspired genius that new what was going on all the time? Perhaps!

Making smooth images for the internet age.

I have been struggling for some time with getting the images I create to look just right on my website, or blog. No matter how low I make the resolution, or how many filters I apply, the images often look very poor quality.

I have decided that this must be because everyone else makes their jpeg images with Vector Graphics or something very technicological like that. Not knowing anything about vector graphics, I have decided to produce all my work in vector images from now on. Fortunately I don't have any commissions at the moment (that was lucky!) so I'll have time to play around with the various settings and get this right, and then advise others on how to be an expert with vector graphics.

Keep watching this space. I'm downloading http://inkscape.org/ now and hope to learn how to use this very soon. Smooth graphics are on the way soon!

I've been experimenting with drawing shapes to help me make faces. This is my first attempt, which I'm thinking of offering as a fully fledged commercial service as soon as I've done at least another two! I started off with the nose shape, but of course it didn't start out as a nose at all, oh no it didn't.

Thinking the colour scheme would look very good as a series of childrens books? What do you think? Would you buy your children a book that looked like this, perhaps it would have some words in it as well. In a nice plain bold typeface like this?

I should think of a story for this childrens book. It could be the next Harry Potter or something like that.

British Televisional Soap Operas.

The wife/girlfriend is a great big fan of many of the British Soap Operas that appear on our televisional screens. She insists on whatching them, regardless of what she is also doing at the time. Thankfully they are usually broadcast in the early evening, so some things are never interuppted!

Having agreed to share living accommodation with her some time ago when our 'relationship' began (inspired partly by a very poor bus service between our each abodes at the time), I have accidentaly found myself watching these very popular televisional shows. While obviously I'm far too high brow to actually watch these televisional shows, I did find myself taking a passing interest in the bizzarre plots. It seems that they all have the same plot, with different actors and charactures playing out the same stories over and over. For instance, all of the soap operas currently have a plot about a body having being buried and it being discovered by a group of hoodies. A few months ago they all had charactures that were having babies. It's quite remarkable how similar all of these shows are, and I suspect, until Channel 5 launch a soap opera about aliens or something, it will continue to be like this.