Monday, 14 May 2012

Man bites off his own ear.

News reports are coming in from Betty across the road that last night there was an altercation with the Police, and the man that was being in the processed of being arrested, bite off his own ear!

Unfortunately, I have been unable to verify this report and have not got photographic evidence of this event, but I managed to find this on Google Images:

 I am not sure if this is the same sort of ear that was bitten off allegedly by the man, or why he was arguing with a policeman (to be honest, I'd long since retired to bed after my Cadbury's Options Drinking Chocolate). Betty could not furnish me with any further details as she needed to keep an appointment with her Craig's social worker , and when I phoned the police station in the capacity of a citizen reporter, the desk sergeant hung up on me!

Do you know a man with good teeth, and an ear missing? Perhaps he used to wear glasses, but is now unable to?

Please let me know.

Friday, 11 May 2012

How can I become a successful cartoonist?

How can I become a successful cartoonist? This is a question I once asked myself, before I became a successful cartoonist. Many "professional" cartoonists will try to tell you how difficult it is to make a decent living from drawing cartoons of a hilarious nature, but they are wrong.

People of all ages love cartoons. Any cartoons. Any age. People of as young as 10 or 12 love cartoons, although these are technically children, they are still people. Sometimes older people love cartoons as well, unless they are a little old and doddery and don't really understand anything anymore, or perhaps they have just lost their glasses.

People who have lost their glasses don't generally like cartoons, but rest assured that once they find their glasses again, or get a new prescription they love them again.

As a cartoonist you can draw all sorts of cartoons. I like to create unique cartoons using a unique drawing method that other cartoonists don't use, as I don't want to be like other cartoonists with their swimming pools and helicopters - I want to be unique, I want to be me!

I could spend hours and hours learning how to copy drawer cartoons just like other cartoonist, but I want people to be able to look at one of my unique and universally hilarious cartoons and just know it's something I've inflicted on them. This is important to me, as I don't want people to have to read the cartoon and then read a signature of who drew it. People are busy, and if they have to read a signature, they might not have time to read the cartoon (or look at it, if it is a visual cartoon).

What would the point of just having time to look at a signature, and not having time to look at the cartoon, especially if you are in a dreadful hurry to get out of the house to buy some new glasses so you can then appreciate cartoons your mind goes to mush and then you can't.

So in summery, people love cartoons. It doesn't matter how you create them, they will buy them. With a bit of luck they might buy more cartoons in the future - but don't fall for the old cliche of old cartoonists with helicopters. They are just protecting their business. They don't want new people to become cartoonists, because they have swimming pools.

Saturday, 5 May 2012

Introducing a new comic book adventure...

I have been working very hard on my latest project, which is a comic book project about a worm called Woody, or as most people who have now read this will no him as, Woody Worm. In this adventure, which is illustrated in a unique style that has never been done before (all completed by using hands for instance) he has a very strange case of a missing bird table thief to find out about and see where he might be hiding so he can then reveal where he has been hiding and report to the appropriate authorities. BUT! The story has a unique twist which has never been done before on the pages of the web, the thief is in fact - a WOMAN!

This hilarious comic strip was design for a paying customer, who has had numerous problems with his mobile phone ever since I sent him the rough version of this exclusive story. He is unable to answer his phone from anyone who uses the same network that I use. Most frustrating!

I sent him an email demanding payment, or I would publish the cartoon on my website instead, and he did not respond. So here's it is. The woman with pink hair is his mother, BTW. Now she won't get her hilarious and unique birthday gift, and there loss is you're gain, dear readership of this thus blog/website.

If you'd like your family immorallised in a cartoon form, then please get in touch.

I can also draw snails quite well.