How much is too much?

I have often been asked how do I get into a line of business such as yours? I don't know what your line of business is, so I can't really answer that, but I assume they might mean (these people that I dream about) that what you mean is: How do you get into cartoons?


Cartoonists can charge anything they want to charge a customer. It's not like fridges. There is no Government price controls. Some charge £10 per cartoon (but they aren't very good if they are charging that much). and some charge £20 (these are usually better cartoonists). and sometimes as much as £2,000! It all depends how you want to use the cartoon. For instance, in my instance I would charge someone more money if they wanted to hang my cartoon in their through lounge, and I would charge less money if they just wanted to hang it in their downstairs lav. If they wanted a bespoke service, such as a limited run of tea-towels printing with a cartoon design of their favorite tortoise, or a much loved child for instance thus far and such like.

Hilarious Child/Tortoise Cartoon by Leonard Gubbins Design Studio Limited.

Thatcher or Black?

I have been making more fun cartoons with built in hilarity of celebrities. This week I have mostly been drawing well known and instantly recognisable celebrities from the United Kingdom. I started to draw this with the intention of capturing the likeness of that wonder lady of the stage, Cilla Black, but after I finnished drawing it, I realise it might look a bit more like Margaret Thatcher, who used to be the Prime Minister of this very country. OR at least Janet Brown impressioning her in the 1980's quite badly, with a poor make up budget.

Caption Competition.

I must apoloigise to all the people that look forward to my regular updates on the world of cartooning and Search Engine Optomisation. I have been very busy this past week with my hedge and lawn. Preparing it for the winter months. I think the netting looks nice.



I have decided that it's time that we held a caption competition here on Talent Free. I know that lots of you who can't draw really funny cartoons like me, and Cathy , but you can come up with lots of splendid captions (judging by all the 'captions' I've been recieving in my email just lately!!!) So the task this week is to come up with a caption for the above cartoon that I have drawn. There will be a prize for the winner of the contest (Gel pens possibly, but not the matallic set - I'm saving them to drawer some special christmas cards for friends and relatives over the festive season).

Please leave a comment if you can think of an hilarious caption that matches the hilarity of the original cartoon. The object in the middle IS a free standing swimming pool (incase you was wondering, or have never seen a swimming pool before!)

A Friday the 13th Caricature.

This is a cartoon portrait of my next door neighbour. I can't tell you her name, as she wishes to remain anonymous, but agreed to me posting her caricature on the internet. She has been having trouble with her neck for several years now. Various doctors and other patients in various waiting rooms have not been able to diagnose her condition. All she knows is that she gets terrible pains in her neck, especially after line dancing.

To be honest, I think she's quite depressed about it now. It's been going on for so many years. The doctors don't want to know. Even other patients have stopped listening. I thought long and hard about how I could help cheer her up a bit. I could have trimmed her front hedge for her, but I didn't have time for this, as I needed to take a faulty tin opener back to Argos that day. So after a long hard think taking several hours, I decided that I could make her smile with my cartooning skills.

She's often said about how she wishes she just didn't have a neck any more, so I came up with this hilarious caricature of her (wearing the polo neck her nan knitted for her last year before she died. In fact THE last thing her nan ever knitted. Some have suggested she was catching a bus to the wool shop when the accident occurred, but that could just be an urban legend!)

Drawing done entirely on the computer. Black HP mouse, 19" monitor, but made to look like pencil crayon hand shaded.

* Her front hedge is still a state, but at least now she's smiling!

Google is my friend.

I have often being asked. This charming, and successful blog was started just a few short months ago, but already it ranks very highly for some key search terms - which is a clear demonstration of how important it is for the internet to have this thus blog in existance. What would the gap be filled with if this site didn't exist? Probably another website of dancing kittens - a search term which this blog doesn't rank at all for.

So some of the terms that this blog ranks so highly for include:

• "cartoon chocolate digestive" - #1 position from 15,200 results!!!
• "steve bright talent" - #1 postion, from over 1,700,000 results - just a few up from a Stephen Gately video clip!!!
• "gel pen cartoons" - #15 position from around 78,500 results (second page!)
• "local post office gel pens cartoons" #1 position from 14,000 results.

Demonstrating that it's how you use Google that matters. As long as people use it properly, then I rank number 1 for just about any cartoon related search you care to think of.

Many times people have tried to tell me that my cartoons were not as good as others that they'd seen, but I'm sure they'll be laughing on the other side of their faces - having seen the evidence that they are in FACT so good, that Google ranks them so well.

And that's why Google is my friend, and Xezop993 doesn't know what the hell, he (or she) is talking about.

Rip off car insurance. Grrrrrrrr.....

I was charged with seeking a good deal for my wife/girlfriends car insurance, so I visited the local insurance broker (broker is an appropriate name for them, as they seem to specialise in breaking people!). I gave them all the information required for them to do a search on the details required. I get a quote for £345 for 1 years insurance including a no claims discount of 3 years. Everything seemed fine, when I get a phone call from the broker the next day to say that the insurance has been refused because I'd forgotten to tell them about a little accident my girlfriend had over 4 years ago when driving her Fiat Tipo.

Now when I tried to seek another insurance policy I was told that the price would now be over £1,000 as a result of this minor shunt she had in her Fiat Tipo. WHAT??? This is a complete rip off. I was furious, and if the police hadn't already been called I would have probably given them a reason to claim on their insurance. Don't insurance companies realise that once someone has had such a minor shunt, they are MORE CAREFUL IN THE FUTURE! Therefore, thus making them safer drivers in the future. I'm sick and tired of this rip -of -Britain that I've been told about in the quality press such as thus Daily Mail and the Daily Telegraph. This is just another example of it. Well now we are making a stand against R.O.B. and needless to say my Wife/Girlfriend is now driving without any insurance at all. I understand there's a fund available for un-insured drivers to make claims on anyway, so it seems pointless to just let them financially rape her like this.

Laughing at insanity, knowing how to apply a bandage.

I've often been asked about how much I know about insanity. This usually occurs just after I've shown someone my cartoons for the first time.

Funnily enough, I did once train to be a psychologist many years back, but I found that people boring me with their pathetic problems wasn't for me, so I didn't go back for the second day of training. Having experience of being a psychologist for even a short time did equip me with the knowledge to read people quite well, particularly insane people, of which there is many of them on the estate that  I live. 

The insane people are usually the ones wearing the inappropriate hats, so it's easy to spot an insane person, unless they are not wearing a hat in which case it's usually a little harder. Just asking someone if they are insane isn't usually that effective, particularly if they are Geordies, as they are likely to reply "Yeah, I'm mad me!". Playing word association games with strangers at a bus stop isn't that advisable either, as it can usually involve a discussion with the constabulary.

Concentrating just on the obvious ones with the inappropriate hats is usually the best tactic when trying to identify insane people.

So just what is an inappropriate hat you may ask? Well, wearing a bowler hat in a working mans club is obviously a clear sign of madness, unless they are part of the entertainment.

Wearing a rain hat in a charity shop can be a sign of insanity, unless the string is wet and stuck, and it has been raining outside.

Wearing a flat cap while driving an Italian supermini is a sign of insanity, unless the person is in Yorkshire at the time, in which case it's probably just a sign of poverty.

Without knowing for certain if someone is insane or not, can make it very difficult to mock and laugh at the insane people on your local estate. It's a mind-field for certain, but get it right, and there's lots of fun to be had. Basic knowledge of first aid is always useful when laughing at insanity.

Off my shopping trolley.

I'm often asked what I know about layers and backgrounds. To be honest, very little, but I'm not going to let something like that stop me from explaining to you what they are.

Here's a picture I recently did for a childrens book illustration (due to be published within the next 2 years).

As you can see I have created a rather wonderful background for this picture with very professional looking gradients (more about them later).
Now the trick is to use layers for each element of the picture, so I can get rid of the bits of the picture which I don't want to be there with just a simple click of my moose. Thus, therefore this:

And thus there we have it. Off with the shopping trolley. I didn't have to draw the picture twice. I used the layers function of the menu to 'hide' the shopping trolley from view before saving it twice. That bit was the hardest work.

Here's the background on it's own, which you can download to place your own creations withon it. What funny ideas can you think of for such a background image? Perhaps you'd like to draw a dog, or maybe some kind of man with a large gardening implement? I'm looking forward to seeing them all. Please email them to me at the usual address (please, no more Korean spam). The one which wins the first prize will win an all expenses trip to having a link on this very website to their own website.

The best fonts for your cartoons.

Searching on my copy of photoshop today I realised that there's a font called Comic Sans. Clearly this has been designed with cartoonists in mind. Brilliant. We now have our own font for use in our cartoons. It's a great shame that there's not more comic fonts available to us, but until there is, we should all be using COMIC SANS as much as possible to promote the cartoon industry.

How to stop being murdered on Facebook.

I am so angry right now. It has just been in the news (the other week) that someone has been murdered on Facebook, and yet Facebook have done nothing to stop this happening! It's ridiculous that people are being murdered on Facebook as we speak, and all we seem to do is poke each other and then send each other a golden chicken on Farmville.

I think it's time we all stood up and made a stand against this senseless murdering that's taking place on Facebook the whole time we are on there. We are FaceBookers, but we are not faceless witnesses. If you see someone being murdered on Facebook, then it's your cyber duty to report this to the police immediately. I suggest that everyone befriends a serving police officer on Facebook ready for such an eventuality and then you can instantly message them to say "Hey! There's a murder taking place on Facebook". They can then swoop in and prevent the murder from taking place, and we can then all get back to Mafia Wars in peace.

How to have an Easy Easter.

I am often asked how come I'm such a calm individual, that never lets things get me flustered. Well it's all to do with good planning. As that wise man, Michael Parkinson once said; "fail to plan and you plan to fail".


Soon it will be Easter, and if you're anything like me (used to be) then by the end of March you'll be having a fight with some old woman in the Co-Op over the last Smartie Easter Egg for sale. Sure, she had it in her basket first, but why should you let this workshy pensioner (who, lets face it has had infinitely more time to prepare for Easter then a hard working Article Writer and Blogger such as yourself). Now it's not pretty, fighting with pensioners in the Co-operative, no matter "good with food" they are.

Fighting with old people in the Co-Op is not what Easter is about!

So now is the time to be buying your Easter Eggs and ensuring that you don't have a fight with an Octogenarian. It's Easter, and the baby Jesus would not have wanted anyone fighting on his Birthday like this!

Making money from Cartoons.

I am often asked how I came to be a professional cartoonist, and such a successful one at that. Well, it is all very simple. I realised a few weeks ago how easy it was to draw cartoons, and that I had a wonderful mind for the creative process. The first time I picked up one of my glitter pens (the gold one, if you must know) and started scribbling away, I knew this was the new career I'd been looking for, for so long.

I had many faulse starts to many different careers. When I left school I joined art college for 2 hours and then realised that this was not for me. They frowned upon the use of glitter pens, or something. I'm not sure, but they claimed I was crap, and tried to steer me towards a career in painting and decorating instead. Well I wasn't going to stand for that for one moment. So to their much regret, I left that college.

I had to find something creative to spend my time on. I tried creative accounting for a short while, but I quickly realised that this wasn't what I expected either. Besides my boss expected me to work very late nights. That wasn't for me. I was missing all my favourite soap operas anyway (a great source of inspiration for any creative person I feel).

Then one day I was flicking through a copy of Readers Digest Magazine in the dentists waiting room and saw how many cartoons they had in there. Truth be told I didn't find that many of them funny, but it got me thinking. If they publish cartoons that I don't find funny, perhaps they'll publish cartoons that I've drawn that other people don't find funny either. How difficult can it be to draw cartoons that just aren't funny? Being the sort of person never to get bogged down with the technical aspect of anything I do - I picked up my glitter pen and started scribbling away. Since that day I haven't looked back. Already I have been commissioned by Burt across the road to paint a smily face on his wheelie bin (to stop the filthy Morgans next door from nicking it) and I've also had many other enquiries for my brilliantly talent free cartoons.

I'm still waiting to hear back from The Readers Digest, but it's looking promising. Already I have had mail from them suggesting I might be receiving a cheque soon for £250,000. I'm not sure which cartoon that is for, but I'm quite excited.

So there you go. If you want to make money from your Glitter Pens, get cartooning. I hope this article has inspired some of you to give it a go.

Shrove Tuesday.

I am often asked if I know the origin of Shrove Tuesday. Well it just so happens that I do. Shrove Tuesday was actually invented on a Wednesday, but that was Mrs Shroves bingo night, so it was later decided that it should be on a Tuesday. The first Tuesday after Valentines day was decided as probably the best day to get rid of all those spare eggs that were lying around after Valentines day.

Then Better Crocker got involved, and she messed up that shit big time with her instant pancake mix. Add water and shake became the usual way to celebrate pancake day. Traditionalists still like to use frying pans and 'flip' or toss their pancakes, sometimes sticking them to the ceiling (usually the kitchen ceiling)

Which made me think of a wonderful cartoon!

Shrove Tuesday Cartoon.

Real life is a great inspiration

This is a highly amusing thing that happened the other day somewhere near my fridge, which is in the kitchen. Where is your fridge? Please leave a comment below.