William is going to Marry Katie

As reported in the recent press, Prince William the second is going to marry his girlfriend Katie Middletown. I think that's a lovely story. I know that the news is quite old now, and I would have drawn a lovely tribute cartoon much sooner, but I have been very busy lately with getting my iPod connected to my car stereo and sorting out a incident with a missing wheelie bin. But enough of my troubles (Roger Whittaker isn't that important). I would like to think that someone in the Royal Family will see this lovely cartoon for the tribute it indeed no doubt is, and who knows, it might even be spray painted onto the cake! That would make a lovely surprise for the Middletowns, and I've sure make a lovely day of celebration, even more lovely than it already is.


Has anyone seen what the Frankling Mint will be producing for this lovely occassion? I will be buying all the red top sunday papers to see what lovely offers are on to celebrate this lovely occassion of the celebreation of the lovely marage of the lovely day.


When is it going to be?

How much do you charge for your cartoons?

Anyone who knows me or this website knows that my standard fee for cartoons and illustrations is £20 per cartoon (hourly rate, if my sister phones and interrupts me then it could be quite a bit more), but I've noticed that many cartoonists are very secretive about what they charge for their cartoons.

I think this is the wrong way to conduct business. You wouldn't go to buy a fridge in a shop that didn't display the prices, would you, and therefore why should it be any different for cartoons? Cartoons are to business what fridges are to kitchens full of cheese that needs to be stopped from going smelly, unless it's a type of cheese that is supposed to be smelly, is the way I think of it. Sometimes I think of everything in terms of preserving cheese.

Please join my new forum.

Well, after being banned by several other forums of late I have decided to start up my own forum. I figure this way I can't be banned from this forum, as it is MY own forum. Trouble is, I don't have any members to ban myself, as I'm the only member of MY own forum, so I would like to invite all cartoonists, cross-stitcher's, and spiritualists that would like to be banned from my forum to register for MY own forum, so I can start banning them from MY own forum and then I'll feel all warm inside.

I'd like to think that MY own forum will become a really good place for all wonderful people like me to publish their own work on there, and save me the trouble of having to bother quite so much. I'm very busy with my cats diarrhoea at the moment (funny cartoon story about that to follow soon), so I'm not getting as much time as I'd like to write ALL the forum posts myself.

First 3 members to join up can be moderators if they like.

Love is a Chainsaw!

Love is a chainsaw and a decapitated head cartoon.

I've taken some advice from my good online friend Cretin 229 (you may remember him from the Disney colouring book?). He has shown me how to do subtle shading to give my cartoons a little more depth than they had before. I've also invested in a new felt tip pen (I was in the post office anyway - it's amazing how many things the local post office sell for cartoonists to use). Mrs Rogerson was in there. I haven't seen her for ages, but our conversation was cut short when I found out she'd just been to Skegnes with her daughter-in-law and didn't need any new tea towels. Her Dean will be out of prison soon. Not that I'm one to gossip, but I reckon he did it.

Anyway I was inspired to draw this rather marvellous cartoon by Valentines day. If you'd like this printed onto a card, get in touch with me and I'll let you have a price. I expect it'd be around £20 per card, but if your valentine means anything to you, it's worth it. I can't be responsible for any restraining orders issued as a result of sending anybody one of my unique cards.

Update on my cyber peeping tom.

As some of you will be aware of those who I have hither told about on this website, I have been the victim of a cruel and heartless imitator. Someone who thought I had no sense of humour at all and copied my blog with a terribly shoddy imitiation of this thus said blog. I have warned this cyber peeping tom that unless they removed EVERYTHING from the internet that I didn't like, I would report them to the police. They have failed to do this, and so I have had no option but to report them to the police. The local police don't actually man the local police station after 3pm on week days, and so thus I left a message on their community action hotline. I imagine once they listen to their messages they will start a thorough investigation into my complaint. I'm seeing flip charts. Case conferences. Flashing lights.