My Mate Dave is Insane.

Sometimes I'm asked by people I know if I will draw them a cartoon. Usually they expect me to do this for no financial compensation whatsoever. However if I ask Mike to look at my car, and perhaps do an oil change, he will still expect to get paid.

My mate Dave is insane. He's a really funny guy. I've told him before that he should do stand-up again. Sure, it didn't go down all that well at the school open day, but they weren't really the right audience for his style of edgy material. He's really funny, and as long as you've had a few drinks yourself, really not that offensive at all. I drew this cartoon for him (for free) as it reminded me of an incident in the mid 90's that I've promised never to repeat. I'm sure once he comes over to pick it up (he's got issues at the moment with his elderly mother/the inland revenue) he'll be hanging in his upstairs toilet (his mother cannot access this toilet due to her recent mobility issues.

*someone at the pub did say this looks remarkably unlike Dave, but I would like to point out this is my artistic interpretation of his features (and he's got a face that's really hard to draw). 

How can I become a successful cartoonist?

How can I become a successful cartoonist? This is a question I once asked myself, before I became a successful cartoonist. Many "professional" cartoonists will try to tell you how difficult it is to make a decent living from drawing cartoons of a hilarious nature, but they are wrong.

People of all ages love cartoons. Any cartoons. Any age. People of as young as 10 or 12 love cartoons, although these are technically children, they are still people. Sometimes older people love cartoons as well, unless they are a little old and doddery and don't really understand anything anymore, or perhaps they have just lost their glasses.

People who have lost their glasses don't generally like cartoons, but rest assured that once they find their glasses again, or get a new prescription they love them again.

As a cartoonist you can draw all sorts of cartoons. I like to create unique cartoons using a unique drawing method that other cartoonists don't use, as I don't want to be like other cartoonists with their swimming pools and helicopters - I want to be unique, I want to be me!

I could spend hours and hours learning how to copy drawer cartoons just like other cartoonist, but I want people to be able to look at one of my unique and universally hilarious cartoons and just know it's something I've inflicted on them. This is important to me, as I don't want people to have to read the cartoon and then read a signature of who drew it. People are busy, and if they have to read a signature, they might not have time to read the cartoon (or look at it, if it is a visual cartoon).

What would the point of just having time to look at a signature, and not having time to look at the cartoon, especially if you are in a dreadful hurry to get out of the house to buy some new glasses so you can then appreciate cartoons your mind goes to mush and then you can't.

So in summery, people love cartoons. It doesn't matter how you create them, they will buy them. With a bit of luck they might buy more cartoons in the future - but don't fall for the old cliche of old cartoonists with helicopters. They are just protecting their business. They don't want new people to become cartoonists, because they have swimming pools.

How to make people laugh at your business.

Business is a serious business and nothing more so now that business is in declining from the recession created by Gordon Brown in his last budget. I have some experience of business management and franchise operations ( over 8 months at Burger King alone!) so I feel well placed to advise business people about their businesses.

Firstly, it's important to understand why your business isn't doing so well. Could it be that what you are selling, or the service you are offering isn't suitable for the current ecomonic climate that we all find ourselves in right now? Perhaps you are a luxury goods provider, and people can't afford your luxury goods at the moment, because they have just lost their jobs. Maybe you should think of opening a pound shop on your premises until things pick up a bit?

Pound shops can be an excellent place to conduct business when people haven't got enough money and they need a cheap car cleaning spong and a multipack of hula hoops to see them through the dark days of the worst recession we've ever seen since the last one.

Changing your business is just one step you can take to avoid having to live like a common or garden chav, but while you are busy 'downsizing' your business to something more suited to the economic reality of life these days in post Soviet Britain, you also need to consider that no business can go from high class watch makers and jewellers, to a pound shop without some excellent publicity materials and promotion.

If someone in Angola wants to find a pound shop in Sheffield for instance, you want to get the very best possible search result in Google. It's no good having meta tags or keywords for Sheffield Pound Shop - as all the other pound shops in Sheffield will have gone for that obvious tag. No, what you need is something more specific, like for instances thus this, if your name is David Groat, then what you need is to be number 1 for the search term "david groat, no longer a high class watch maker and jeweller, but now a pound shop until things pick up a bit"

Using this sytem will guarantee you the number 1 spot for anyone anywhere in the whole world who wants to know where the best pound shop is in northern Britain. and searches for that term!

Alongside all of that there services which can be provided by any good popular SEO expert, you will need something eyecatching to attract people to your new pound shop (or whatever scummy type of business you decide to do until things pick up a bit). I suggest that something like a cartoon logo for your shop and publicity material would be a very good start.

Here is an few examples of the sort of cartoon logos that I can create for your business to see you through the recession, and avoid that sale of that much loved kidney.

I can be contacted for quotes for all such commissioned work via my normal contact email address (business email) leonard.gubbins@googlemail.com or HERE

Another LuLU portrait.

I'm often asked why I draw so many portraits of LULU, and to be honest I have no idea. Even my psychiatrist wasn't sure when I asked her. Not that I see her any more, since the incident with the pot plant and the live yoghurt. I think it's only right that I share all my LULU portraits with you, my wonderful loyal audience of wonderful followers.  I think I love you more than I love my cats.


If you have a much loved relative that is the spitting image of LULU, then please get in touch and you can buy one of these wonderful portraits for just one £20 note.

A comic strip featureing you!

I am now able to offer a unique service that is better than all the other services out there. That's right. A personalised comic strip featureing you. All you need to do is provide me with the story and I can draw it for you. Comic strips from only £80 (that's a 50% reduction on what I was thinking of charging!)

Send me your ideas and I'll turn it into a special gift for yourself or perhaps your mum.

* Remember I cannot print the comic strip for you, as my printer is broken, but I will send you a very high quality email.