Monday, 26 April 2010

Tea Towel Misery. Not my fault.

No one knows how hard it is. I sit here, in between re-runs of Cash In The Attic, and Diagnosis Murder She Wrote wondering what I can drawer the people will hand over hard cash to have printed on a tea towel. It's not as easy as I thought it was going to be all those months ago. Sourcing Tea Towels that don't have a heavy Gingham pattern is the hardest part of the whole process.

Where can I buy plain cotton tea towels without any pattern on?

Perhaps I shouldn't have taken all those orders. Perhaps those people will never order something every again from the Internet because of me. Wedding anniversary's ruined, engagement parties cancelled. And it's all because of the tea towel mafia in this country that insist on ONLY making Gingham tea towels.

Perhaps with the new Government we are about to get, things will change and we can move this economy forwards.

I'm currently processing orders for shopping bags without zips. I hope I can find some.


  1. These are the same mafia who only produce loo brushes in a domed shape, which means that nooks and crannies where microbes lurk remain untouched.

    The only way to get at them is to roll up your sleeves, put on yer marigolds (or should that be mafigolds?) and go at it with a cloth. Mine's got a gingham pattern on it - how about yours?

  2. Don't get me started on the homewares Mafia Cathy. It's a conspiracy against all us housewifes and home keepers out there.

    They want us to live in filth, so we'll buy their expensive and over-priced anti-bacterial cleaning products that kill 99.9% of all bacteria.

    We'll then all die from the 0.1% of remaining bacteria and then they'll sell us embalming fluid like whores on cocktails. I expect the embalming fluid has a much higher mark up than thick bleach.

  3. Their marketing is very subtle, Leonard, so as not to alert the Advertising Standards Authority. Had you noticed that it's 99.9% of all KNOWN germs? Well, how many germs do you know?

    Quite. Though I had an interesting encounter with bacillus cereus a few weeks ago, hence my post on food poisoning - but how many of us go to the trouble of disinfecting our rice before eating it? And if we did, we'd die anyway.

    They're all in on it, I tell you!

  4. Oh don't get me started....Oh. I've done that bit.

    Yes Cathy, you are of course, yet again 100% right. That's 100% right. Not 99.9% right.

    The only safe way to eat rice is if you cook it in bleach, which will kill you.

  5. They also say "Nothing works faster than Anadin". Well, if nothing works faster, you'd be better off using nothing.

  6. That's a very good point, well made Nigel.

  7. In the 1960's they said "Nothing sucks like an Electrolux". Imagine learning that in your teens.

  8. Funny you should say that Redvers. I have recently created another blog on that very subject.