Thursday, 11 March 2010

Help! My computer hates me!

I am often asked to help people with computer problems, as I am known as a bit of an expert in matters around computers and other things that use electricity.

Usually most problems can be solved by re-installing the operating system, but what most people don't realise is how much an operating system can cost. Especially if they require a new one to install every few months! An elderly neighbour came over to my house the other week to ask some advise on his laptop, which he was having trouble with. The problem he was having was that he was having a problem opening some attachments in Hotmail. I told him that he probably had some sort of virus, but I could help him by defragging his hard disk drive and then re-installing the operating system. He was very happy with this and left his computer with me for a few days.

Once I'd opened up his laptop (not easy on this particular model, and one of the screws had a mashed head) I set to work to repair his machine and reinstall the operating system.

After a few hours of fiddling about, his computer was now working like new. I was going to test it to see if he could now open these HOTMAIL attachements, but he'd forgotten to give me his password. Burt came round later that day to collect his machine, and seemed happy when I told him that it was all working again. He was looking forward to getting his machine back, as he had many digital photos on there of his deceased wife.

Being a pensioner, I agreed to let Burt pay me the £300 he owed me in installments. Many of you reading this might be thinking that all this sounds scary, but there's no need to worry about unforseen expenses like this. If Burt had come to me sooner with his problems, then I would probably been able to sort out his machine for around £20 (hourly rate).

So it's always important to use the expertise of a local computer expert to keep your machine running smoothly at all times. Computers are so complex these days, that many tasks are beyond most normal people.


  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

  2. Sorry about the deleted comment, but a glass of white wine on an empty stomach doesn't really help the old spelling, grammar and punctuation.

    To avoid any misunderstanding ...

    Leonard - I am reassured to know that you are a computing expert. I am even preparing to move house so that you are a local one.

    Are you still upset with me? I'm still waiting for all those virile young hunks, you know! The police, that is!

  3. Lenny, you really scare me sometimes!

  4. That cartoon's brilliant Leo. It'd make a great mousemat.

  5. Cathy, of course I've forgiven you. You don't need to wait for the constabulary, as I've persuaded them to not batter down your entrance and carry you away like some common criminal.

  6. Mr Poobah, are you having trouble with your attachments I sent you?

  7. Nigel, I think you are right. It would be a great mousemat for technologically challenged pensioners. I could put my phone number on it. It'd be a great marketing tool. Only the other day I witnessed an elderly neighbour using a mouse without a mouse mat! That's just asking to catch a virus!!!

  8. By the way. Cathy and Mr Redvers, I'm waiting for some more top notch articles from you both.

    The splendid offer of allowing some of you to become talent free authors on this blog still stands.

    Knowledge of the Doncaster transport system and advantage, but not essential.