Today I am going to show you how to create the perfect cartoon of one of the finest dishes of the subcontinent.
First choose a Curry House. Personally I recommend the Bilash in Wolverhampton but any good restaurant serving Indian cuisine will do.
The next step is key to your success. After being seated, place your order. This should consist of 6 bottles of Cobra or Kingfisher with a dozen poppadums and assorted chutneys to start and a Prawn Dopiaza to follow. However, you must insist your main course is not brought to the table until you have polished off your starter in its entirety.
When your Prawn Dopiaza arrives you should now bring out a pen or pencil and begin to draw the dish as realistically as possible on the plain paper serviette that will have been supplied to you.
(Some upmarket restaurants insist on giving you a cotton serviette, so it is always worth having a spare paper version of your own in your top pocket.)
Now sit back and admire. The theraputic qualities of the refreshing Cobra or Kingfisher will miraculously transform your artistic endeavour into a first rate cartoon.
Bon appetit!
Which would I get the better result from, Redvers, 'Spice Island' in Catshill, or would it be better to go to the 'Balti Cottage' in Bromsgrove, do you think? Though I'd have to walk home after all those cobras, which is another consideration ...
ReplyDeleteHave you considered a bus to Birmingham? Imrans on the Ladypool Road is quite splendid but it's unlicensed so you would have to carry your chilled Cobras with you.
ReplyDeleteA poem by Poobah:
ReplyDeleteWhen I drink six Cobras
Then order a curry
If it is too hot
Vindaloo in a hurry!
Where's the picture Redvers? If you need help scanning it, and posting on here, just ask.
ReplyDeleteLots of curry houses (or "restaurants" as I prefer to call them), have photographs of their dishes on their menus.
ReplyDeleteThink what a great and novel idea it would be to have a cartoon of each dish instead of a photograph. You wouldn't have to go to the expense of costly lighting effects and cameras with tripods etc.
The restaurant would be "quids-in" (or whatever the Bangladeshi equivalent is). Paying around £20 per drawing would ad up to significant savings I'd wager. (Except I don't bet.)
Two drug addicts accidentally injected themselves with curry powder in my local takeaway the other day.
ReplyDeleteOne is in a korma in intensive care.
The other is in hospital with a dodgy tikka.
At least it wasn't a doggy-tikka.
ReplyDeleteI had a Tarka at my local Indian Restaurant last week. It's like a Tikka, only a little 'otter.
Where's my picture? Are you serious? You expect me to draw a cartoon and upload it free of charge. Are you completely barking? What's it worth is my first question. Do I get repeat fees, the second?
ReplyDeleteYou already know what all the fees on here are, Redvers. Regardless of what you're paying for.
ReplyDeletePlease note: this is an hourly rate.
A little 'otter! :-D
ReplyDeleteI nearly fell off me legs!
Oh, great poem Poobar.