Saturday, 27 March 2010

It's very important to be a good neighbour

My next door neighbours (in the next field)(they're horses, i.e. neighbours - Geddit?)(But not really - arf arf!)

Well anyway my neighbours were having their usual Tuesday afternoon shennanigans; these normally involve crowbars and other blunt instruments, with the odd bayonet thrown in for good measure, when ... all of a sudden ... it all went ... quiet!
Then I heard a door slam, with such ferocity that my tin of pilchards fell off the mantelpiece.

Mr Vladtheimpaler from next door was stomping down the road swearing to himself so volubly that he made Old Alkie Ron from the Pig and Whistle sound like Prince Charles. But what had happened to his wee wifey?

Well, I looked out of the window and saw that he had tied her to a tree with her own straitjacket cords. She was unable to move. It started to rain. It didn't look as though she had her mobile phone with her, so would be unable to contact emergency services.

So what did I do? I ordered her a mobile phone, online, and they promised to deliver it within a week, so she'll be able to phone the police/ambulance/local psychiatric unit.

I just don't know what she'd have done without me. It's just SO important to be a good neighbour.


  1. What a wonderfully inspirational story Cathy. With a neighbour like you, she's clearly better connected.

    Will you be drawing this into a highly amusing cartoon strip, so she can keep it forever as a marvellous momento?

  2. Good grief, Leonard, what a brilliant idea!

    Yes, I could certainly make a cartoon strip out of this incident. She's be very concerned about my tin of pilchards, I'm sure.

    Still, we've all got to earn a living, haven't we, and I think that £20 would be a good price, don't you? I still think she'd be getting the bargain, though, as I can easily blow £20 on a packet of Woodbine and a lottery ticket - while she can keep my highly amusing (and personalised) cartoon strip for ever!

  3. Your wonderful story has inspired me to drawer a brilliant cartoon Carthy. See todays post.