The paper clip! Here are some paper clips I made earlier:
Each one of these is carefully hand-painted, and one little slip such as a sneeze, or a molotov cocktail flying through the window, can destroy several hours' work. Yet I can offer them to you at a discounted price; my hourly rate is £20.00, and it takes me 32.5 minutes to paint each one, but you can have two clips for the very reasonable rate of £40.00!!! I accept cheques, but please send them direct to me rather than that conniving ******* Leonard Gubbins, money-grubbing little wotsisname that he is.
Please note: This offer is time-limited (all orders must be received by midnight of the next full moon after the Spring Equinox) and is open to subscribers of 'Talent Free' only.
Terms and conditions apply.
Do you want a clip around the ear hole Cathy?
ReplyDeleteSeriously. I'm thinking of banning Cathy from this blog, and then calling the police. OR maybe calling the police and THEN banning her from this blog!
How big are they Cathy?
ReplyDeleteAnd yes, he is, isn't he!
You never did actually tell us about your brush with the law, Leonard. I hope they didn't force entry and destroy your front door, like you see happen on all these reality TV programmes.
ReplyDeleteLeonard - are you really going to call in the police? All those virile young hunks coming to kick down my door? Would it be a good idea to leave it open, just in case?
ReplyDeletePoobah - as these paper clips are hand-crafted items, they can be made to your own specifications (sorry, I forgot to include that bit in the original post).
So far they range in size from the largest being 54" long, to the smallest being so tiny it could only be viewed through an electron microscope.
But don't forget - the £20.00 is an hourly rate.
Cathy, you have upset me. When people upset me, I do tend to call in the constabulary. I said the same thing once to my own mother, when she wouldn't let me use her budgie for an experimental art project.
ReplyDelete