Sunday 11 April 2010

Summer furniture: the garden chair


As Leonard says, summer is a wonderful time of year, and being that we've had 24.7 mins of brilliant sunshine here today, I think that more than counts as an English summer, don't you? (Not forgetting parts of Scotland excluding the Welsh because they already have Shirley Bassey and Tom Jones).

Well, here's an example of a brilliant item of garden furniture you won't find in Argos in Bromsgrove, I can tell you that for nothing! (Well, it'll cost you £20.00 actually, but we'll talk about the money later). It's the GARDEN CHAIR!!! It is a very environmentally friendly chair, featuring upright timbers for woodpeckers to practise on, telegraph wires for migrating birds to perch on for a brief stopover on their way to Africa, with leaves for insects to go on so the birdies can eat them. So it's a bit of a 'Little Chef' really. You will notice the very attractive upholstery, resplendent with nest material spilling out of every hole.

If you have one of these, you'll be the envy of all your neighbours. My next-door-neighbour even reckons mine sends him secret messages, and he tried to throw it in the pond!

14 comments:

  1. Cathy, you forgot to comment on my article which I consider quite rude.

    Luckily you used Comic Sans extensively in your wonderful picture, so I can forgive you.

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  2. Damn! I've been and gone and lost my memory again ... now, where was I when I last used it?

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  3. Could it have been at the weekend by any chance, Cathy? Perhaps you were using it to try and forget certain people in your life - trying too hard can cause memory loss by excessive scrubbing of the memory cells. Trust me, I'm a doctor. This can be exacerbated by unfriending people on Facebook at the same as well. Trouble is, the memory can come flooding back when you least expect it. One night you might wake up in the dead of night with sudden recollection of what you had done and scream, ' Shit what an effing mistake' or words to that effect. As to your interesting article about the garden chair I don't believe a bleeding word of it - it sounds far too fanciful by far. You do have a reputation as a bit of a dancer, Ms Simpson, do you think you might be leading us on a merry one with this?

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  4. It's all right - I'm friends with Johnny Cabbage now!

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  5. Oh, you've patched it up with Cabbage then? Pity, he sprouts nonsense all the time. You'll be sorry,you'll end up in a pickle - or in Johnny's case, a right piccalilli, geddit?!

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  6. Seriously though, Cathy, is it because you find relationships with real people too difficult? You can tell me - I'm a quack!

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  7. What is it with that Gerard? Whatever he's on, I want to avoid it.

    Now then, back tot the matter in hand. Do these chairs have matching round tables with holes in the middle to stick over-grown umbrellas in? I think we should know.

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  8. Steve - I haven't got the table out of the potting shed yet, so I haven't been able to produce a brilliant drawing. I had underestimated the level of interest in my garden furniture, and will of course be putting more articles about it in the future, due to public demand.

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  9. Am I sounding a tad fraught, Steve. Hmmm - I'd better cut the dosage.

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  10. Just a tad, Gerard.

    Thanks, Cathy - there are few subjects that motivate me as much as unusual garden furniture. Savoury biscuits being the other.

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  11. Steve - you are going to view my next article with SUCH awe and wonderment ...

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  12. I'm moist with excitement Cathy. When's it due?

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  13. No, Cathy, no - you're going to combine tales of garden furniture with savoury biscuits? In one article? Tell me it isn't true! Moist doesn't begin to cover it. Fluvial comes close!

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  14. Are you a 'dunker' Mr Bright? I bet you are.

    Cathy must be under enormous pressure now to come up with the goods. I'm hoping she posts it tomorrow, as I'm too busy to post tomorrow. I'm meeting with my probation officer.

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