How to get really good ideas for cartoons (and possibly cross-stitch)

I'm often asked how I get the wonderful ideas for my wonderful cartoons. How do I make people literally incontinent with my humorous cartoons? Here's a few top tips for you to be helped with getting wonderful ideas for wonderful cartoons, just like me does.

• Keep a pencil (or pen) handy at all times, and a notebook (or pad). You never know when a great idea will strike you. It's very important to keep this nearby at all times. When you're in the cinema, in bed, making love to a beautiful wife/girlfriend, or sat on the toilet (I get quite a few ideas in there!!).
• Search the internet for great cartoons that you think are really funny, and modify these cartoon ideas to make them even better (and to make them your ideas).
• Ask friends and family for ideas for really funny cartoons. Uncle George might not be a cartoonist, but I be he's got loads of really funny stories from his time working on the docks!
• Get you clients to come up with the ideas for the cartoons, and draw them in a unique style.
• If you're really stuck for ideas, then just remember people will pay £20 for your unique cartoons. Sell enough of these, and you could spend the whole afternoon in Argos on glitter pens and watercolour artists sets.

Well I hope that has helped you get beyond that cartoonist block that hits all of us professionals from time to time. As always, comments welcome (I've been told these are more interesting than the articles, a great compliment to the quality of the articles I'm been producing I feel.)