Saturday, 19 June 2010

Do you drink more than you think?

It's often claimed that people drink more than they think and that this is somehow harmful to them, but I disagree with this idea that people do drink more than they think. Even to have a drink, you have to think things like, what time does the pub open, or will that Advocate from last Christmas still be OK to drink? So instantly, before a single drop of drink has entered, you've already been thinking more than you have been drinking.

Of course once you start drinking, it's quite possible that you start stopping thinking quite as much as you would normally, but even the most drunkard drunk person is still thinking, even if it's such total nonsense as "I wonder what the cat would look like with a mohican" and other such trivial thoughts. It's still thinking!

*This website does not condone drinking of alcoholic beverages, or thinking so hard that you might realise that alcoholic beverages are a valid alternative to real life.


  1. I was told by a GP many years ago that the definition of an alcoholic was 'Somebody who drinks more than their doctor does'. That particular GP also had me confused with another patient of the same name, who had a kid and presumably lots of issues that go with this sort of activity - whereas I hadn't and didn't.

    It got quite interesting at times.

  2. This is a very serious problem with considerable consequences which I have been known to suffer from. Many times I have thought I'd only drunk one pint, when in fact it turned out to be a litre, and consequently 0.76 pints of beer would spill out of my mouth onto the carpet.

    Please do not make light of this.

  3. What a waste of beer, Steve - I trust it was something like Grotney's, and not a proper beer. In which case, poor carpet!

  4. Buggered if I can remember, Cathy. The carpet was Axminster & Wilton though - natch!

  5. So I'm right in thinking that top level cartoonists only have top quality carpets/rugs?

    Having a nice carpet under your Cosy Feet slippers while watching cash in the attic makes it all worth it. It's what I'm aiming for.

    How much did that there carpet cost you per square metre Mr Bright?

  6. Oh, I don't have carpets. I have linoleum that looks like the floor equivalent of stone cladding. No, the carpet in question belonged to the top celebrity whose party I had gate-crashed. It was his beer too.

    Who are these top level cartoonists of which you speak of, Leonrad?