Tuesday, 1 June 2010


After watching tv or telly or even the box, but I prefer tv. Not that I am one, mind. Dressing up in a lady's clothes just isn't my thing. Especially as I cant find a decent pair of woman's frilly belows in Primark that don't cut in 'right there'.
( I was trying them on for a friend, if you must know.)
After watching the 'TEEVEE' on Saturday evening I actually started to wonder if Britain has actually got talent.
(She is a female friend. I wouldn't be trying them on for a man/male friend).
I mean, what's so talented about a bunch of grown up/ late teen men throwing around a bunch of young children at great speed & height. If I was to do that with some of the kids on my estate, I'd be up in front of the Beak, pronto 'nd no mistakin' on a charge of child abuse or 'chucking a scratter about willy nilly without the full permission of the rest of the neighbours the little shits have been tormenting'. I hope your reading this Kane, Ashley, Kai, Tyson, Kae-Leeiy, Tasheeniae-Embassy No.6, Bradpitt, Fiddy, June, Benefitcheque & Geoff. I'll have my day!
Body popping whilst wearing your clothes back to front. Come on, fellah. My mate Fat Gaz won a leg of lamb doing that in our local Slug & Lettuce & he'd just ran across the dance floor to hide in the toilets after getting caught nudey prodding with manager's wife thirty seconds earlier.
(I say she's a female friend. I sometimes have second thoughts when looking at her throat & big calloused hands.)
Don't get me started on dancing bleedin' dogs, either!!!!
(Actually, her winky's quite big, 'n' all).
A Britain's Got Talent cartoon is attached & I too, can vomit billiard balls for £20.00.
Paul x


  1. Thank you Paul for that very interesting article on your frilly bellows/TV talent shows.

    I'm pleased to see that at least YOU haven't forgotten the Talent Free Mantra, with such an excellent article. You see those two standing in the corner of shame? That's Mr Bright and Cathy, you know!!!

  2. This is uplifting news! Does this mean that the whole of Britain's TALENT FREE? (Apart from Mr Bright and myself, sadly)

  3. I dream of a Talent Free Britain Cathy. I dream of it quite often. Usually when I'm in the bath, and thinking of Paul's frilly bellows.

    After much thinking, the water has usually gone cold and then things become even more talent free for me. I'm sure you know what I mean Cathy.

    Hopefully we can put this whole sorry affair behind us, and I look forward to your next Talent Free contribution to the website, Cathy.

  4. I did try, Leonard, but Photoshop developed an error at the very thought. I'll put a cowpat on my head and have another go tomorrow.

    Nite nite xxx

  5. I'm now pleased to report the cowpat worked very well, Leonard, as you can see from my contribution to this hilarious cartoon website.