Monday, 27 September 2010

The meaning of life, and the naked washing up club.

I have often been asked what the point of it all is. Now I am no minstrel or smartie, but I do know that it's often the right course of action to do something different from time to time to challenge the spirit of the human being into doing something different.

I am of course talking about washing up in the nip. Why would anyone want to do this? Well, if you have a dishwasher they'd be little point - but we are not all middle class. Some of us don't even have a people carrier. Washing up with clothes on can be hazardous, especially when you are on your way out for an evenings entertainment at the local arts centre. Washing up in the nip can make things much better. It's a wonderful experience for everyone who isn't within sight of your scrubbing sponge.

Then there's having a dog. It's very important when you have a dog to walk it regularly. At least 5 times per day (depending on the size of it's legs). If you have a very small dog with short legs, then it might be better to walk it just once per day. Dogs cannot walk without you helping them, as they don't understand the concept of the green cross man, or how fast a Saab 900 Turbo is travelling through your estate (see, not middle class).

Well I hope that's helped many of you with the eternal struggle with the meaning of life and other big important questions. As usual I'd welcome any comments.


  1. Well, I looked it up, and there are 25 meanings of life in the dictionary, which is the authoritative source of all knowledge, and none of them mention washing up, never mind in the nip. I'm not casting nasturtiums on your theory, Lonard, but it's all a little suspicious, don't you think? I mean, how do you get from "the condition that distinguishes organisms from inorganic objects and dead organisms, being manifested by growth through metabolism, reproduction, and the power of adaptation to environment through changes originating internally" to dispensing the Fairy Liquid in the buff? Mind you, the 25th meaning of life does relate to pool tables.

    It's damned confusing, is life.

  2. I'm sorry to have to say this Mr Bright, but you are quite incorrect.

    I don't use Fairy Washing up liquid, as I find it gives me a terrible rash. Something I wouldn't have discovered without the joys of washing up in the nip.

    My wife/girlfriend has now threatened to purchase a Zanussi dishwasher to prevent me from upsetting any more neighbours - but I think she's already maxed out her credit card sending money to the hamster shelter, for their "give a small furry rodent a happy Christmas campaign".

    We shall see.