Tuesday, 29 March 2011

A Sad Picture.

This week I have decided against publishing one of my hilarious cartoons that you all love (to have on tea towels etc). and I have decided to post some serious artwork instead. This is a portrait of my wife I did when I got my new bamboo graphics tablet, and shortly before she left me! That was lucky, as I doubt she'd sit for a portrait now.

So even serious art can be poignant and sad. Not always about having a laugh. My psychiatrist has told me that these feelings will pass soon, as long as I continue with the medication and stop drinking Stella. Truth be told, I haven't been to the local social club for over three weeks now, and that's nothing to do with the graffiti in the gents (wasn't me!). 

So if you'd like a lovely portrait of your wife, get in touch quick - before she leaves you and you loose the chance to have a lovely portrait of your wife. Fees start from just £20 plus postage fee*

*This design is not available on a tea towel, due to legal advice.

Wednesday, 16 March 2011

Washing up liquid - a taste test.

Much has been said during history about the different flavours of washing up liquid. I'm here today to dispel some of the mystery surrounding the different flavours, and you help you, the listener to decide which one is the best for your own domestic situation.

Recently I had the great pleasure of sampling many different flavours of washing up liquid. This is NOT about dishwasher tables. You'll have to go elsewhere for something like that sort of thing!

I started my research with a bottle of Fairy, lemon flavour. After washing up a cup, I let it air dry for approximately 4 hours, before I made a cup of tea in it.

Tasting the tea, it tasted like tea.

Next I washed the same cup with Co-Op Mint flavour washing up liquid (with anti-bacterial agents). I deciding that leaving the cup each and every time for 4 hours to air dry would take far too long, so I used a Matalan Blue Check Tea towel this time to dry to cup and wait for the kettle to boil. (Rusell Hobs).

Tasting the tea, it tasted like tea. I was expecting it to taste like mint tea, but it did not taste like mint tea at all in the slightest.

I was about to test the Tesco Lavender flavour washing up liquid, when my wife/girlfriend came home from her job as an admin assistant for the local abattoir. She insisted on knowing why I had opened two new bottles of washing liquid, and was I going through that stage where I was mixing random household products again, and on, and on. and why hadn't I peeled the potatoes for the spag bol she had planned! (we don't like pasta in this house).

I decided it might be better to finish this experiment at a later day or date.

Tuesday, 15 March 2011

Prostitutes aren't all that bad.

Tarts. Strumpets. Whores. There's many different words for women who are short of a bob or two. But should we be worried when they decide to stand around our favourite parking space looking for a customer, or two? I have never had a prostitute on my cul-de-sac, although there was once a woman who lived at number 57 who I think might have been having trouble making her mind up, which laborer was doing the best job on her lagging, if you know what I mean.

Here's a really hilarious cartoon that explores this important social issue in this day and age and what have you. For all you women out there, it's soon to be available as an oven glove design. Prices from the bargain price of just £20, plus £17.65 p&p and a £6.99 admin fee.

Saturday, 12 March 2011

Fiesta Magazine...

I have always been interested in reading about cars such as the Ford Fiesta (MkI version only). and thought it would be a great idea to learn how to draw a Ford Fiesta and then perhaps I could start a new career with illustration for something like Auto Car magazine. Many people draw cars that look like this:

Which of course is no good at all. The suspension on such a car would never clear a speed hump, or even a sleeping policeman. And there's no rear lights. It's very important when drawing cars that they do look like they would at the very least pass a back street MOT.

I am not aware of any artists currently working for the Motoring press who draw such sub-standard drawings of Ford Fiestas or Nissan Micras, but if I ever hear of such an artist, I will be writing a very strongly worded letter to the editor of (whichever publication it is!) and tell them that I will take over their job (probably for much less money as well).

Friday, 11 March 2011

The Reynold Girls - I'd Rather Jack

I won't do it, I just won't do it.

Sad news about this blog. After 1 year of building up a brilliant relationship with online multi-disciplinary business associates and many of you, my loving pubic, I have decided to continue with this blog for yet another year. Yes, it hasn't been as successful as I'd hope. None of the major media outlets stumbled upon it (despite me adding it to Stumble Upon with a brilliant review and everything!) and I've not become incredibly wealthy like Donald Disney or any of the other well know cartoonists and SEO experts out there.

Disappointment, yes. But I'm the sort of person that is not put off by death threats and legal action. In fact, that sort of thing drives me on to succeed even more. Tell me it's rubbish, and I'll just keep on coming with it over and over again. The more people tell me I can't draw, the more I will draw. Come to think of it, if people told me I was a brilliant drawer, then I would also continue to draw. There's no stopping me really. You're opinion counts for nothing!

Please leave a comment and let me know what you think.