Free cartoons for Charities and good causes, that want to have some cartoons, but can't afford a professional cartoonist.

I have recently decided that I should offer my services to charities for no charge whatsoever. After a rather uncomfortable altercation with a certain local Mothers and Toddlers Church Group over some Mural artwork (it only looked like an appendage when all the strip lights in the Church hall were switched on at the same time), I have decided to refund 10% of their fee and offer my services to Charities for free from now on.

How do I find time in my hecktic sheduale to find the time for such endevours, I hear you ask me? Well for starters I have stopped watching Cash In the Attic. The programme just isn't what it used to be. Even Aire Hunters holds little appeal to me, knowing that there's some terrible charities out there in trouble, without any cartoons.

So that's at least 1 hour per day time in my studio that I can offer this unlimited offer until the end of April. Maybe you are a baby Hedgehog sancturary that needs some unique designs to be created for you by a talented individual, but you can't afford them? Well come to Leonard instead! All my services are free of charge (excluding legitimate expenses).

Some other types of Charities that might benefit from my unique skills of drawing and colouring by using my hands are:

A mobile bloodbank Charity
Running Charity for people in coma's 
Subsidence misuse Charity for tramps?
Family Planning Charity for a Bunny Sanctuary?
Irish Underwear collection Charity for the Third World

The posibilities are endless for good causes to get some unique cartoon artwork for their use on things like phamplets, brouchures, adverts, who knows, even tea towels!

*All designs have had unique copyright applied to them, but the Charities are allowed to use them for free, with written permission.

Cartoons for your Business Special offer!

Hi, my name is Leonard, and I'm a very enthusiastic cartoonist and designer. I have experience of applying *very* special effects to my cartoons, which will give your business cartoons REAL impact that many other cartoonists won't offer. This month I have a special offer for window cleaners who are called Dave. Have this wonderful logo for your business (perhaps on your van, or if you don't have a van, you could have it made into a sticker for your bucket). As a special offer for this month only, I have added a special effect to this cartoon logo (normal price for such effects is £3.29).


You may have noticed that there's room for your phone number, which new customers who've seen your van/bucket will be able to phone to book you to clean their windows. Remember to ask about access to the back garden, and the situation with dogs etc.


** If you are called dave, and you do clean windows, but the hair is wrong then please get in touch. I could change the hair colour very easily, for a limited price of only £4.83.


Next week: I'm doing a business card for a plumber called Hank.

Cheap cartoon redesign services

I have a new and original idea for all small to medium (but not large) businesses out there that would like to make use of cartoon illustrations out there for their publications, advertising materials or leaflets.


As Nick Clegg DPM recently said, people must follow the business model of this most finest British business model. John Lewid's famous motto is "never knowing undersold", which got me to thinking about it somewhat.
Many businesses cannot afford to use the services of professional illustrators for their business, even though they would be able to stop sacking people and increase their business models tenfold. The solution I have come up with (all on my own without any assistance from the DPM) is this thus:


Customer approaches cartoonist/illustrator to use image in something. Cartoonist/Illustrator demands a high fee for their work (something like £1,000 for one image).


Customer then approaches Leonard Gubbins' design kit studio. We take that very same illustration and re-draw it exactly, therefor avoiding any copyright issues and charge a much more reasonable £19.90 + 10p admin fee.

Novelty Woman Inspirational Artwork Sketch.

I have been very busy this week, but I still managed to draw some wonderful artwork for your delight, and friendly to your wallet, while also solving your gift problems for months to come.


Fistly, I did this sketch:

I then decided that I could use my new found skills in Photoshop to create something magical with Photoshop. T-Shirts and Tea Towels.

You too could look like the cool guy at a summer BBQ, or even in B&Q!


































Or you could buy your auntie Ethel a lovely set of Tea Towels that she could use to dry the cats bowls with, or just to impress the vicar when he pops round for a crunch cream and a gossip!

Success has made a failure of my blog (home)

As some of you will have realised by now, I have not been able to post on this wonderful platform of Talent Free-handeness that is thus the Blog Called Talent Free. There are 3 reasons for this. 

1. I have been very busy with an unfortunate incident with the Works and Benefits office that have libelled me in the most vicious manner, by claiming that I was claiming something that I shouldn't have been claiming, but of course this was something that they should have not claimed. I could have sued them for this terrible slander, but it turned out the that man standing behind me in the queue was in fact deaf and didn't even here the slandering claims made by the benefits officer. Their claim is still outstanding.


2.  I have been incredibly busy with my home based online multi-level designs promotional business. I have sold an incredible 3 designs to some companies run by people who wouldn't know a decent designer if they cut their price to a mere £20 per design with multiple FREE redesigns. Sadly, while they are delighted with my design work I have thus done for them, and they would recommend my services to anyone with a business, there is no examples of my work on their websites, as they just wanted the illustrations for concepts.


3. My popular designs for a badge for children to wear, warning people that they was ginger resulted in yet another unfortunate incident with the legal team of the  local community cohesion team. It's a sad state of affairs how vexatious this country has now become, when I designer such as thus myself cannot produce something for fun, in case of upsetting people with ginger hair! I cannot comment further on this, as the matter is now in the hands of my lawyer.

Making smooth images for the internet age.

I have been struggling for some time with getting the images I create to look just right on my website, or blog. No matter how low I make the resolution, or how many filters I apply, the images often look very poor quality.

I have decided that this must be because everyone else makes their jpeg images with Vector Graphics or something very technicological like that. Not knowing anything about vector graphics, I have decided to produce all my work in vector images from now on. Fortunately I don't have any commissions at the moment (that was lucky!) so I'll have time to play around with the various settings and get this right, and then advise others on how to be an expert with vector graphics.

Keep watching this space. I'm downloading http://inkscape.org/ now and hope to learn how to use this very soon. Smooth graphics are on the way soon!

Doing business on the internet.

If only I'd discovered the wonders of gel pens when I was younger. Perhaps I'd have chosen to be a cartoonist much earlier in life when I was younger? As it was I didn't decide to be a cartoonist until February this year. At first I thought it might be difficult, but then I joined a cartoonist forum and after giving some advice to the other cartoonists on there, I decided to give up my job at the drop in centre and devote my life to making wonderful cartoons and making people smile, with my dynamic and unique cartoons, always remembering that those that criticise are just jealous of my natural abilities to make people laugh. Everyone who has seen one of my cartoons has laughed at me - and there's no better endorsement of brilliant talent then that!  


Here's a quick look back at some of those cartoons.

Siege mentality.

When I first started my successful cartoon career, I was often asked why I was bothering, as I was pretty good at the job I was doing at the time anyway, and I couldn't drawer for toffee. Well I'm the sort of person that when I'm told I can't do something, I want to do it all the more!

Like my ex-next door neighbour who told me that I couldn't sunbathe in my own garden naked! How dare he tell me what I couldn't do!!! As it happens I wasn't even sunbathing naked in my back garden. I was wearing speedos, but he couldn't see them due to an unfortunate thyroid problem I was suffering from in the mid-90's (all cleared up now, thankfully). But I wasn't going to be bossed about by someone who didn't even have an upstairs lavatory for guests, and a poorly installed conservatory.


I took the same view of those who sought to dissuade me from becoming a cartoonist. I instinctively knew that my cartoons were brilliant, so what other people thought was largely irrelevant. I'm happy to say that I was proved right in the end. This site has had over 511000 visitors since it's launch in February 2010 (11,000 since March  2010 alone!), and as I proved in a recent post - many positive search results on Google.


Now, I am considering myself as an experienced cartoonist. I provide help and support to many web cartoonists - who actively seek my wise advice on all matters concerning cartooning matters. If you need to know which type of paper to use with which type of pencil or pen - then I can advise. Soon I will be launching my own cartoon correspondence school, but unlike others out there - I will be upfront about the costs. 


The same goes for clients who might want to use my services or cartoons. I publish my prices up front, unlike many cartoonists who are very secretive about what they charge. Why do they do that? I've no idea. Seems very stupid to me (and most other people). If I was a client and I wanted a cartoonist to drawer a cartoon for my website or newsletter - I would want to know how much it was going to cost right away. It's no accident that many of these so called 'professional' cartoonists appear nowhere in a Google search for "cheap cartoonist".


So if you want a "cheap cartoonist" for your recession busting business - then look no further than Leonard Gubbins*




*I'm also available for Search Engine Optimisation, Tarot Reading, and Oven Cleaning (weekday evenings only).

Photo finish to a new career!

Small child almost ruined this photo
of a slide I was taking!

Since the invention of the camera around 10 years ago, digital photography has become very popular past-time for many people. Digital cameras come in all shapes and sizes, very much like the people using them. Fat bloke with a slim compact? It does happen.

For good results in photography it's very important to spend as much money as possible, on both the camera and the accessories, such as camera bags and tripods. An expert can instantly tell from looking at the photograph if the photographer has skimpt on equipement, so it's no use pretending you can get away with not spending at lot of money. It will be apparent in your completed photographs.

Once you have spent all this money (or invested) on photographical equipement, you might want to consider creating your own business taking photographs of people and places (inside & out). People without expensive photographic equipement, or those that want to be in the photographs themselves, will pay hansomely for good photographs taken on expensive equipement.

To test the water, it might be a good idea to limit yourself to only 5,000 business cards, and place these in as many local shops and post officers as possible. Word of mouth is a very good way to create business, so be sure to tell as many people as possible of how good you are at photography.

Good luck with your new career. With some luck, all that money you have spent on equipement to take a few snap shots of your Poodle, will soon be paid back many times over.

Election selection expectation...

Well wasn't that an interesting General Election. As some of you will be aware I have been indisposed during the actual voting process, and was unable to vote myself. It was quite a surprise to come home and find that we didn't have any Government at all.

I'm quite pleased to see a sensible looking man doing a number 10, instead of that Scottish man. I don't have anything against Scottish people's as such there thus, but I don't like Scottish men who don't have a beard. Call me strange. I Think all Scottish men should have beards, like in the movies. Everything should be like in the movies, but none of these so called politicians offered that you anyone, did they?

Well I think Mr Cameron would make a great prime minister. I don't know what Mr Brown is going to do now he's been sacked from the position by the Queen. It doesn't look good on anyone's CV when you've been sacked by the Queen does it? I'm sure he'll find something to do for a living. Perhaps he could work on the Shopping Channel?

Content is king. Illustrations are like Jesters.

I am often asked what makes a successful blog, but I rarely answer that question, because I don't want just anyone to be able to replicate the Talent Free website I have created.

Well now I feel confident enough to confide in you, dear reader just what does make a successful blog. Firstly it's very important to identify your audience, but how do you do that, when you don't have an  audience, or don't know who your audience is. I would say to any blog author that there are some simple steps you can take to identify who are your audience and what do they want. This can be achieved by taking note of whole leaves comments on your blog or website and perhaps visiting their blog or website to see what sort of person they are and what sort of content you think they would like to read.


Content is very important. There's no use in providing excellent articles on something very intelligent, such as the physics of quorn, if your core readers are mud stupid for instance. Assuming that your readers are just a little intelligent (like this blog) then you can provide articles that get good Google rankings, and that real people will find interesting.


Clicking knees often prevent me from sitting at my desk for too long, so I'm going to have to leave this article there, but I think I've given you enough of a start to start writing excellent content for your blog, website or weblog.

The First Day Of Summer. Part 2.

During my epic rise from part time supermarket cashier and weekend valeting operative to one of the best known cartoonist on Google.com I have often been struck by how easy it is to do just about anything you set your mind to.

Only the other day I was waiting at the bank to make a very modest deposit to my business account, when I got talking to an old acquittance I once knew of old. His name was Bill, and I hadn't seen him since he was quite a bit younger on a Employment training scheme in the late to middle 1980's. He was now working as a plumber, despite the fact that he trained as a brick layer. Apparently, as it so turns out, he found lugging bricks around all day too difficult, what with his flat feet and bad back, so he decided to paint plumber on the side of his van instead, and has been happily unblocking old women's u-bends ever since. He knows nothing about heating systems, but he's quite happy to learn that as he goes along (for the usual rate of course).

As I walked home in the beautiful spring sunshine I realised that perhaps I might of have taken a similar route through life as Bill had done, and being forced to shove my hand down lavatories for a living for ridiculous amounts of money. But I didn't. I decided to be a cartoonist!

Being a cartoonist is a great life. The gel pens, the smell of the paper first thing in a morning. The endless free time to do whatever I want to do, like watch cash in the attic, with the marvelous Angela Rippon. And knowing that whatever I do, it's good enough for me! The Boss!

This weather makes being a full time professional cartoonist even better, as I can just bugger off to the park whenever the mood takes me. It's like winning the lottery, I can tell you.

What is a cartoonist?

I'm often asked when people find out I'm a cartoonist (since February 2010) what a cartoonist is. These people are not stupid, as you may first think. They simply don't know what a cartoonist is, or what a cartoonist does. I can be confusing for the ordinary, drab people I come across from time to time.


I like to think that there's several types of cartoonists and here is the two examples I'm allowed to tell you about.


The definition of a cartoonist is someone who draws cartoons. This may be someone who has a full set of gel pens, or perhaps has only just a Berol Handwriting pen. They may draw their cartoons on some sort of paper, or maybe even a piece of cardboard they found in the recycle bin. These 'cartoons' or humorous pictures might be amusing, but they don't have to be.


The definition of a pro- cartoonist is someone who sells their cartoons for money, or perhaps stationary supplies. These sorts of cartoonists are mainly motivated by the desire to be famous and rich, like Van Golf or David Hockey. Now that's not to say that these cartoonists don't draw good cartoons, they often do, but many of them have been corrupted by the scent of wealth and fame. They draw maybe 6 or 7 cartoons to a national publication, and that's them set up for life!


Many of the professional cartoonist I know are lovely people, but they are often horrible towards those they see as 'amateur' cartoonists, and no matter how crap their cartoons are, will not offer words of encouragement. They'll say terrible things like "you really need to improve your drawing skills" or "the cartoon just isn't funny". This clearly demonstrate how cruel professional cartoonist can  be towards amateur cartoonists that want to steal their jobs.


So there's a lesson for all us cartoonists. If you are an amateur cartoonist, then you mustn't listen to the bitter ramblings from the professionals that are probably just threatened by your skills with a gel pen (some of these so-called professionals use such antiquated tools as brushes, or dip pens!).


If you are a professional cartoonist (and I suspect there might be quite a few reading this blog) then you need to understand that while YOU might not find the work of the up and coming amateurs that impressive, you should always be polite and encouraging. It doesn't matter that you are not impressed with their cartoons. Their friends and family are impressed, and if only their friends and family had a million pound publishing empire, then they would be selling cartoons to them all the time, and you'd be signing on, or picking vegetables!

The Cartoonist Club Of England.

People often ask me how they can get ahead in the highly competitive world of professional cartooning. Well, I have for some time being involved in the excellent CARTOON CLUB OF ENGLAND Which was established in February 2010 to help and support cartoonists, both amatuer and professional. It's a fun club (unlike some others that are stuffy and insist that you have some artistic capability). Even if you can't draw for toffee Then you are still welcome to join. The only joining requirement is the paying of the annual subscription of £20. For this, you get the right to display this splendid logo on your blog or website, regular FREE email newsletters, a twice yearly contest to win some Argos Vouchers (value depending on how many members we get) and of course advice and assistance to promote your work on this website.

Think of it as a bit like Rolfs Cartoon Club, but without the Austrailian. We will not allow Austrailians to ruin this club!

Lean on me...

I am often asked where I drawer my rather excellent cartoons and these people asking me this don't mean which room in the house I use, but what I rest my paper on.

There are many 'desks' available for the use of cartoonists these days, unlike during the second world war, where all the desks had to be melted down to build Spit Fries. I was looking for a new desk recently, as I found the kitchen table I was using wasn't really good enough, now that I am a professional cartoonist. My first port of call was, of course, the Argos catologe. Argos have a great reputation for Gel pens and garden furniture, so one could expect them to also have a great range of desks for cartoonists. How wrong I was. As you can see the only desk they had in stock was this one below (this bit of writing). Now that may be a suitable desk for a cartoonist that is just a hobby cartoonist that just drawers cartoons for a hobby, or just for something to do - but professional cartoonists have a few more requirements from their desks. Luckily Argos have a very good exchange/refund policy, so once I'd got my wife/girlfriend to build the desk, and then un-build it - we took it back to get a refund.

Now I was stuck with the dilema of which desk I should buy for my cartoon professional career.

I went into the bed shop next door to Argos, while wife/girlfriend went next door to Brantano's to look at some flip flops for her forthcoming community service. I knew it was a long shot, but who knows. They might have an old desk in the managers office that they didn't want any more. They didn't, so I walked out in disgust, and gave them the sort of look that told them in no terms uncertainly that they have lost me as a customer forever (even for bedroom furniture).

This would have made an ideal desk for a cartoonist, but the bed shop didn't have any for sale!

Which paper to use for drawing on with pencil?

Choosing Paper for Beginning Drawing

I have a dream...

People of ask me how come I am so successful in everything I've ever done. Since being asked to leave school I have been successful at many varied jobs. So successful in some cases, that I've only needed to be there for a matter of hours. I tried to become an eminent psychologist one lunch break after reading a wonderful article in Take A Break magazine. The trouble with becoming a psychologist is that people always want to tell you their problems, and that's just not something that interests me.

So I gave that up and became a hairdresser instead. Trouble with hairdressing is that some people don't like your unique style on the top of their head! I thought to myself I have done all I can for the world of hairdressing, and resigned that very afternoon.

Now since I took up being a cartoonist, I think I have found the ideal career for myself. The main advantages is that it's very easy to do (if you're a creative genius, like myself), it can pay very very well (think - Charles Scwhepps!) and it leaves loads of free time for the cream of day time TV, or a trip to Argos.

Creating new areas of business for the cartoon market business.

I am often asked how I sell my cartoons to so many varied clients. Parish magazines, missing cat posters, local business directories etc. The reason that I sell so many wonderful cartoons to so many dull publications is that I approach them and suggest that they publish my cartoons. I start with an impartial appraisal of their publication (for free) which usually confirms what I believed all along, that their publication is rather dull and needs some cartoons to brighten it up.

I then offer them a cartoon I've already drawn for free. They usually take this up, even if it has nothing to do with the nature of the publication. It's amazing how many parish magazines will publish a caraciture of LuLu, if it's offered for free. They need to fill space in their magazines, just like big name, national publications do. Once I have them 'hooked' on my unique style of drawing (a few complimentary letters to the editor always help - thanks mum!) I then send them another cartoon for the next issue, but I forget to mention that this one isn't free. Once they have published it, I send them and invoice and threaten them with legal action if they don't pay the £20 they owe me!

Obviously this trick only works once, or maybe twice, if the publication is badly organised. That's an example of parish magazines. Missing pet posters is another lucrative market place for local cartoonists. Most people put up dull photocopies of their missing pets, which is not at all eye catching. I usually take down the poster and when I get home phone the phone number. Yes, they get excited thinking you've found their beloved pet - but when I suggest that their pet might never be found without an eye catching poster, they often ask for help in making the poster better. The budget for cartoon missing pet posters is usually quite small, but with some gentle persuaction they can usually be agreed to cut back on the 'reward' money to fund a wonderful pet cartoon portrait (I charge extra if there's a funny story behind the pet going missing). An added bonus is that if the pet is never found, they still have a wonderful memento of their pet to treasure for years to come!

There's just a few ideas for all you budding cartoonists out there. Next week: Elderly dead relative caricatures, good idea or bad?

Goodbat, Nightman

Goodbat, Nightman

by Roger McGough

 

God bless all policemen

and fighters of crime,

May thieves go to jail

for a very long time.

They’ve had a hard day


helping clean up the town,


Now they hang from the mantelpiece


upside down.


A glass of warm blood


and then straight up the stairs.


Batman and Robin


are saying their prayers.

They’ve locked all the doors

and they’ve put out the bat,


Put on their batjamas

(They like doing that)


They’ve filled their batwater-bottles


made their batbeds,


With two springy battresses


for sleepy batheads.


They’re closing red eyes

and they’re counting black sheep.


Batman and Robin


Are falling asleep.


Making money from Cartoons.

I am often asked how I came to be a professional cartoonist, and such a successful one at that. Well, it is all very simple. I realised a few weeks ago how easy it was to draw cartoons, and that I had a wonderful mind for the creative process. The first time I picked up one of my glitter pens (the gold one, if you must know) and started scribbling away, I knew this was the new career I'd been looking for, for so long.

I had many faulse starts to many different careers. When I left school I joined art college for 2 hours and then realised that this was not for me. They frowned upon the use of glitter pens, or something. I'm not sure, but they claimed I was crap, and tried to steer me towards a career in painting and decorating instead. Well I wasn't going to stand for that for one moment. So to their much regret, I left that college.

I had to find something creative to spend my time on. I tried creative accounting for a short while, but I quickly realised that this wasn't what I expected either. Besides my boss expected me to work very late nights. That wasn't for me. I was missing all my favourite soap operas anyway (a great source of inspiration for any creative person I feel).

Then one day I was flicking through a copy of Readers Digest Magazine in the dentists waiting room and saw how many cartoons they had in there. Truth be told I didn't find that many of them funny, but it got me thinking. If they publish cartoons that I don't find funny, perhaps they'll publish cartoons that I've drawn that other people don't find funny either. How difficult can it be to draw cartoons that just aren't funny? Being the sort of person never to get bogged down with the technical aspect of anything I do - I picked up my glitter pen and started scribbling away. Since that day I haven't looked back. Already I have been commissioned by Burt across the road to paint a smily face on his wheelie bin (to stop the filthy Morgans next door from nicking it) and I've also had many other enquiries for my brilliantly talent free cartoons.

I'm still waiting to hear back from The Readers Digest, but it's looking promising. Already I have had mail from them suggesting I might be receiving a cheque soon for £250,000. I'm not sure which cartoon that is for, but I'm quite excited.

So there you go. If you want to make money from your Glitter Pens, get cartooning. I hope this article has inspired some of you to give it a go.