How do I find time in my hecktic sheduale to find the time for such endevours, I hear you ask me? Well for starters I have stopped watching Cash In the Attic. The programme just isn't what it used to be. Even Aire Hunters holds little appeal to me, knowing that there's some terrible charities out there in trouble, without any cartoons.
So that's at least 1 hour per day time in my studio that I can offer this unlimited offer until the end of April. Maybe you are a baby Hedgehog sancturary that needs some unique designs to be created for you by a talented individual, but you can't afford them? Well come to Leonard instead! All my services are free of charge (excluding legitimate expenses).
Some other types of Charities that might benefit from my unique skills of drawing and colouring by using my hands are:
A mobile bloodbank Charity
Running Charity for people in coma's
Subsidence misuse Charity for tramps?
Family Planning Charity for a Bunny Sanctuary?
Irish Underwear collection Charity for the Third World
The posibilities are endless for good causes to get some unique cartoon artwork for their use on things like phamplets, brouchures, adverts, who knows, even tea towels!
I don't run a baby Hedgehog sanctuary, but I do care for depressed grey squirrels. Would such an endeavour entitle me to a free cartoon? I was thinking something along the lines of a sad looking squirrel sitting in a dead tree perhaps with a handful of Fluxotine as opposed to nuts? I must say Len (may I call you Len, Leonard?) I applaud your unselfish attitude towards charity. It makes my eyes moist (and my gusset too). I did approach a lady via the interweb who's site was, I'm sorry to say, high above yours in the Google page ranking system. However, I do believe this to be purely some sort of SEO trickery, as the lady in question had nowhere near your obvious talent, Lenny (may I call you Lenny, Leonard?). And furthermore, on requesting a charity-based-freebie from said lady, she actually demanded money from me! I'm sure this evil woman will sleep soundly knowing that the blood of many blue (blue as in sad, not the colour) grey squirrels will be on her greedy claw-like hands. I'm sure however Dave (may I call you Dave, Leonard?) that you have a much bigger heart than that shameless hussy, and I await my 'sad squirrel' cartoon with utmost anticipation. Yours most moistly, Edna Fishfingers xxxx
ReplyDeleteI think that's a lovely idea. Helping depressed squirrels, like you do. God bless you for all your hard work.
ReplyDeleteI'll see if I can find space in my hectic shed' to prepare the free artwork rough drawings for you, with a no quibble 10 day money back guarantee. If you're not entirely satisfied with the vehicle you have purchased then please return it to us for a exchange or refund. Statutory rights are not affected.
I'll draw some blue squirrels in the morning.
Leoanrd
I don't think this is at all funny. Charities are there to help people, not squirrels, who are a menace to the red squirrel population.
ReplyDeleteIf everyone just gave £1 to sponsor me for the fun run I'm doing for Athletes Foot Anonymous (AFA) then I'd call them tight fisted jerks, but I would have billions of pounds, some of which after legitimate expenses deductions would find it's way to mouldy feet afflicted athletes and no doubt help us win the world cup in the Olympics 2012
Sidney (may I call you Sidney, Leonard?) you are indeed a wonderful man. This morning I found two grey squirrels hanging by their necks from a tree in my garden. It's such a pity that they never got to hear of your wonderful gesture before deciding to end it all. I recently read a Press release released to the Press by another cartoonist who also does a lot of work for charity. It's a pity that this person doesn't take a leaf from your book Winston (may I call you Winston, Leonard?) and keep their charity work secret (we all know you don't like to talk about your charity work), rather than writing blatantly self-written Press releases. I have a counselling session with my squirrels this morning, but I will check back later to see my blue grey squirrel. Oh, what am I like!? I haven't even told you the name of my charity Rafael (may I call you Rafael, Leonard?)! It's named 'Squirrels And Pigeons United' (sod the pigeons. Thats purely for tax purposes), registered charity # 2020666.
ReplyDeleteForever yours, Edna Fishfingers xxx
Dear Anonymous, There is no such thing as a Red squirrel population. The population you are mistakingly referring to as Red are simply ginger squirrels. Ginger squirrels were rightly made outcasts from the woods & forest of England, as they were scaring the young grey squirrels with their orange coloured fur. These Ging-er squirrels are in part responsible for the severe depression that has since plagued the grey squirrel population.
ReplyDeleteSincerely, Edna Fishfingers.
I am raising money for my local school. We have a severe lack of sports equipment, since some obese children had to be cut free from the hoola-hoops, and also sat on the basket balls. Our Charity is called HHFFK (Hoola-Hoops For Fat Kids). Could you please supply a cartoon that we can auction at our Beer and Crisps night (for the parents, not the children!).
ReplyDeleteWe are looking to raise at least £60, so could you please send us at least three cartoons?
Leondar, I suspect you may be being spammed by a troll. Sprolling, or indeed Tramming as it is sometimes known, is no laughing matter. Although I confess I giggled once or twice. And speaking of spam, I had a sandwich here a minute ago...
ReplyDeleteI have never spammed anyone in my life!
DeleteI have, however thus eaten and sometimes made several sandwiches. Cheese seems to be my most popular one to make.