I'm sorry, I'm not supporting that!

I was asked the other day if I would support a charity collection of a few pounds (which I did have, having just been into the co-op for some value tea bags and a scratch card or two), however I was verily offended that I was being asked to support a medical charity for people with memory problems and incontinence.

It's not that I don't think that people with memory problems and incontinence shouldn't be supported, I however think that there's far more important things that should be supported firstly, and that this charity collector should perhaps be collecting money for poorly babies. WHEN there's no more poorly babies around, THEN maybe they could consider asking the general public, and the lower ranking public as well, for money for people with memory problems and incontinence.

Really, the cheek of some people!

What are you're thoughts on charity collectors collecting for the wrong sort of charity, as always, let me know your thoughts in the comment section below. Ones written in bold will get read by me first.

My Mate Dave is Insane.

Sometimes I'm asked by people I know if I will draw them a cartoon. Usually they expect me to do this for no financial compensation whatsoever. However if I ask Mike to look at my car, and perhaps do an oil change, he will still expect to get paid.

My mate Dave is insane. He's a really funny guy. I've told him before that he should do stand-up again. Sure, it didn't go down all that well at the school open day, but they weren't really the right audience for his style of edgy material. He's really funny, and as long as you've had a few drinks yourself, really not that offensive at all. I drew this cartoon for him (for free) as it reminded me of an incident in the mid 90's that I've promised never to repeat. I'm sure once he comes over to pick it up (he's got issues at the moment with his elderly mother/the inland revenue) he'll be hanging in his upstairs toilet (his mother cannot access this toilet due to her recent mobility issues.

*someone at the pub did say this looks remarkably unlike Dave, but I would like to point out this is my artistic interpretation of his features (and he's got a face that's really hard to draw). 

Dream cartoons.

Sometimes it's hard to come up with a good idea for a cartoon. As easy as it maybe to draw excellent cartoons (as I do), coming up with unique original ideas can be difficult at times. Even I feel that sometimes.

One solution I have found is to just listen to your dreams. Last night for instance, I had a dream that some people were being chased by a run-a-way bus (it was a red double decker!). I thought this would make a very interesting cartoon, especially for anyone who has ever been chased by a run-a-way bus. For others, it may seem amusing to some degree. It's one of those special cartoons that everyone can take something away from, from reliving abject horror of a near death experience, to maniacal laughter at watching people running for their lives.

If you would like this cartoon, or another one like it (I can draw taxis as well) for your newsletter or school presentation then please get in touch.
During the month of June I have some very special offers on reproduction fees:

Buy one cartoon, get another cartoon FREE. Cartoons start from just £20. This includes FREE emailing of the cartoon to the address of your choosing - WORLD WIDE service.

* Cartoons in Photoshop format will incur an additional fee of £3.49+vat.

Hilarious Used car salesman Cartoon.

I have been very busy drawing cartoons in a viz style which I hope that private eye will accept for publication (as it's printed on the same sort of paper, I think it would look good in private eye, and it's in tune with their sort of off-beat humour that they like).


I'm sorry, but I may have to remove this cartoon at the end of the week, if Paul Merton (publisher of private eye) decides to take the cartoon. It would be wonderful if they did, although I'm not sure how much they pay for a cartoon in private eye. This one took me extra time as it's in full colour, so I think they should pay more for it. Why don't they publish how much they pay for cartoons? They'd get a lot more people sending them cartoons if they did. I think it could be as much as £50 per cartoon - but I will negoitate hard when they email back to tell me they want this, as it's in full colour.


The parish newsletter market has strunk somewhat since I last wrote about it. The editor of the local one, St Mary's Parish News, has told me that they have had problems with their usual printer, and that my cartoons are not required at the moment, as the Vicars wife has created some wonderful word searches which means theirs not enough room in the current issues for cartoons! Of course I think they are being very foolish, and the circulation of the parish news will decline, especially amongst the illiterate of this parish!

Album Cover Design.

I've been asked to design an album cover for a band called SKID MARKS. So I got straight to work on this interesting commission. After many hours of thinking what this band would like to portray in their album cover, was it romance? Perhaps it was shock value they were looking for.

After recieving the email requestition for this important piece of work, I had to pop out to Focus Do It All for around 3 days, so I couldn't get working on this important and impressive commission for a few hours as yet thus though. But that did give me time to think of some concept for this important peice of work. What would they want on their album cover, and would I agree with them. Time was running out. The pressure and the stress of being a top illustrator to bands from Estonia or somewhere like that.

While I was thinking I was also looking at the rabbit hutches in the attached garden centre of Focus Do It All. They had some nice ones, but they were all a little too pricey to be honest. Besides, I don't have a rabbit - so would have probably been a waste of money.

I thought maybe they would like an album cover of some skid marks from a car - but that was unlikely, as I can't really draw very good car tyres (or tires if you live in America).

Here is the first draft I sent the band for approval. They have yet to get back to me, but I suppose they have a very slow internet out there in Espania or where-ever it was they are coming from? It's the most exciting 8 weeks waiting I've ever spent!

FOOTNOTE: I have since found out that there is many bands called Skid Marks. Here is one of them

Laughing at insanity, knowing how to apply a bandage.

I've often been asked about how much I know about insanity. This usually occurs just after I've shown someone my cartoons for the first time.

Funnily enough, I did once train to be a psychologist many years back, but I found that people boring me with their pathetic problems wasn't for me, so I didn't go back for the second day of training. Having experience of being a psychologist for even a short time did equip me with the knowledge to read people quite well, particularly insane people, of which there is many of them on the estate that  I live. 

The insane people are usually the ones wearing the inappropriate hats, so it's easy to spot an insane person, unless they are not wearing a hat in which case it's usually a little harder. Just asking someone if they are insane isn't usually that effective, particularly if they are Geordies, as they are likely to reply "Yeah, I'm mad me!". Playing word association games with strangers at a bus stop isn't that advisable either, as it can usually involve a discussion with the constabulary.

Concentrating just on the obvious ones with the inappropriate hats is usually the best tactic when trying to identify insane people.

So just what is an inappropriate hat you may ask? Well, wearing a bowler hat in a working mans club is obviously a clear sign of madness, unless they are part of the entertainment.

Wearing a rain hat in a charity shop can be a sign of insanity, unless the string is wet and stuck, and it has been raining outside.

Wearing a flat cap while driving an Italian supermini is a sign of insanity, unless the person is in Yorkshire at the time, in which case it's probably just a sign of poverty.

Without knowing for certain if someone is insane or not, can make it very difficult to mock and laugh at the insane people on your local estate. It's a mind-field for certain, but get it right, and there's lots of fun to be had. Basic knowledge of first aid is always useful when laughing at insanity.

I've had a great idea.

I have just had a brilliant idea. Now I'm sure that someone reading this will be in the airShow business. Well here's an idea of the type of cartoons that I could do to help your business sparkle like a big shiny diamond.

Talent Free Authors Wanted...

I am often asked if it would be possible to become an author on this very successful blog. Well if you have the ability to write, have a computer with a keyboard and an internet connection, then YES it is. I am extremely busy working as a cartoonist since giving up my day job, and building a team of blog authors would be an excellent way to keep this blog regularly updated with little effort on my time. Please get in touch via email (for FREE) here or at leonard.gubbins@googlemail.com and become (almost) as successful as me.

Mother's Day is approaching!

Look out people. It'll soon be Mothers Day, and you'll miss out if you don't order her a gift soon!

These professional keep-sakes are available now. Don't delay, or you might miss out on that very special gift. Suitable for Mother's Day, Father's Day, Valentines Day, 40th Birthdays.
You're friends and loved ones will be speechless when they open a gift from Leonard Gubbins Cartoon Services (UK) Limited.

Love is a Chainsaw!

Love is a chainsaw and a decapitated head cartoon.

I've taken some advice from my good online friend Cretin 229 (you may remember him from the Disney colouring book?). He has shown me how to do subtle shading to give my cartoons a little more depth than they had before. I've also invested in a new felt tip pen (I was in the post office anyway - it's amazing how many things the local post office sell for cartoonists to use). Mrs Rogerson was in there. I haven't seen her for ages, but our conversation was cut short when I found out she'd just been to Skegnes with her daughter-in-law and didn't need any new tea towels. Her Dean will be out of prison soon. Not that I'm one to gossip, but I reckon he did it.

Anyway I was inspired to draw this rather marvellous cartoon by Valentines day. If you'd like this printed onto a card, get in touch with me and I'll let you have a price. I expect it'd be around £20 per card, but if your valentine means anything to you, it's worth it. I can't be responsible for any restraining orders issued as a result of sending anybody one of my unique cards.

The Tortoise and the Old Woman.

Once upon a time there was an old woman who was cruel and mean. She didn't like anything or anyone, particularly slow moving creatures like tortoises. One day when she was walking back from the bingo, a mean horrible tortoise tried to steal her walking stick (I forgot to draw that bit). The old woman was very angry and so she kicked that mean horrid tortoise.

The tortoise died. It was 101 years old, but one sharp tap from a Cosy Feet soft upper support shoe had seen to it that the tortoise died straight away of a horrid death to death.

The old woman walked a different way home from the bingo for several weeks after this.

Wasn't that a wonderful nice story? Something that would be good for a comic strip I feel. Perhaps a three frame comic strip (that's a comic strip with three boxes, or 'frames'). What adventures could the old woman and the tortoise get up to next? Will she win at the bingo? Perhaps she'll have some sort of operation? I'm clean out of ideas to be honest Please leave some ideas for me in the comments box.

The Cartoonist Club Of England.

I have recently joined the Cartoonist Club Of England and I am proud to display the official logo on my website. You can also join the club by just paying me £20, then you can also have this prestigious logo for your blog. I can also design you a professional looking logo for your own website. Colours available are:

• Red with blue lettering (for social clubs, bingo halls etc)
• Blue with yellow lettering (for sailing societies and swedish restarrants)
• Yellow with black lettering (MOT stations, personal blogs, family picture albums)