I've won the lottery.

Wonderful news has just broke. Someone in the UK has won the Euromillion lottery. I haven't won this lottery, but I have won the lottery of life. However if I did win the lottery and had lots of money all of a sudden I would probably give up cartooning for a while. After all, I'm only in this game to get rich.

But if I had won the lottery, after I'd paid off all my debts to Bright-Home, The Kays Catalogue, Primark store card, and YES car credit - I would probably give the rest of the money away! Always I have been known for my generous and modest nature. All those times I've told big Dave in the chippy to "keep the penny, put it in the jar for the spastics", and other such random acts of kindness that I would never publicise myself, out of an extreme sense of modesty. I'd probably give so much away to Save The Mongolian House Butterfly and the Conservative Benevolent Fund, that there'd be none left for myself! LOL

But with the money left, I would definitely buy a Rolls Royce Album, or possibly a CD. And then give it to a children's charity for new hearing aids or something like that. I don't know what they'd use the money for. Perhaps some new balls for their ball pool? I don't know. I've never visited a children's charity.

How to pass your driving test.

Passing your driving test is very important if you are wanting to drive to the local post office, or perhaps further a field (although if you wish to drive over fields you might want to consider buying a 4x4). What ever you are driving to the shops for (gel pens or stamps) you must have a driving license which you can get from passing a driving test.


Some people find it helpful to have something that's called "Driving Lessons" before they have a "Driving Test". You can get these lessons from a "Driving Instructer" who you will find driving around in a Vauxhall Corsa in your home town. Flag one down today and ask him how much he charges for a lesson. It's important to do this with quite a few "driving instructers" as they all charge different prices.


Once you have found a Driving Instructer that you like the charge he'll make of you, then you can book some lessons until you feel ready for a driving test.


Driving tests are conducted at a "Driving Test Centre" although you will be expected to drive away from the centre at some point, and maybe around your local town a little bit. You may also be required to take a theory test if you were born after 1996. Once you have passed your test - you can now drive to the local post office or Spar*

*You may require a car to drive to the local Post Office or Spar.

Goodbat, Nightman

Goodbat, Nightman

by Roger McGough

 

God bless all policemen

and fighters of crime,

May thieves go to jail

for a very long time.

They’ve had a hard day


helping clean up the town,


Now they hang from the mantelpiece


upside down.


A glass of warm blood


and then straight up the stairs.


Batman and Robin


are saying their prayers.

They’ve locked all the doors

and they’ve put out the bat,


Put on their batjamas

(They like doing that)


They’ve filled their batwater-bottles


made their batbeds,


With two springy battresses


for sleepy batheads.


They’re closing red eyes

and they’re counting black sheep.


Batman and Robin


Are falling asleep.