How do I sleep in a chair?

I have often been asked advice on such matters as such like and thus, but this week I am going to answer a query from a local person who I have been interacting with therefor whom within the environment of the street local to my own adobe.


This person, whom wished to remain anonymous, question was:


"sometimes I'm just too tired to go to bed at night, and have been thinking about sleeping in my arm chair. How would I go about doing this?"


That's a very interesting question that I would have very much enjoyed answering for my local fellow inhabitant of my local area, but I was in a hurry to rush home and sit down and write a blog post about arm chairs instead.


Firstly we need to know what an arm chair is.

This is not a chair. It is a stool, and consequently it is most unsuitable for sleeping in.

This is a chair, but it is only suitable for seating in, not sleeping in (or on depending on your political personification. 

This is much more like thus the item of furniture that we was discussing just outside the happy shopper.

Instructions for use:

1. Sit in the chair
2. Read a book, or watch a television. (it doesn't matter what kind, Sony, Phillips, Samsung even)
3. Wait until you are tired.
4. DO NOT GO TO BED AT THIS POINT!
5. When you feel yourself drifting off to sleep let yourself go.
6. Now get a cloth from the kitchen and clean the chair.
7. Once chair is dry again, re-enter it and repeat process 1 - 4
8. Wake up next morning any make appointment with a chiropractor. 

Novelty Woman Inspirational Artwork Sketch.

I have been very busy this week, but I still managed to draw some wonderful artwork for your delight, and friendly to your wallet, while also solving your gift problems for months to come.


Fistly, I did this sketch:

I then decided that I could use my new found skills in Photoshop to create something magical with Photoshop. T-Shirts and Tea Towels.

You too could look like the cool guy at a summer BBQ, or even in B&Q!


































Or you could buy your auntie Ethel a lovely set of Tea Towels that she could use to dry the cats bowls with, or just to impress the vicar when he pops round for a crunch cream and a gossip!

Unique fantasy artwork of your children.

Delightful Fantasy Art Photo. Both these children have hay-fever and asthma!

I have decided to offer this unique service to all the loyal readers of this website. Yes you too could have your loved ones immortalized in special fantasy artwork! All you need to do is send me a photo you'd like me to skillfully convert into something totally unique and unusual. Save a fortune on travelling to Japan. I will take your photo and convert it into a unique fantasy photo art-work that you will love. This would look great on a shopping bag, or oven glove, or even a tea towel.

If you'd like me to turn your photos into something truly unique using my skills then once I have your photo I will set to work (depending on day time TV schedule) and get the image back to you within 7 days. Then you can send the image to an online printer who will print the image on a poster, tea mug - whatever you want!!! You might even want to ask the online printer to make this a canvas print, so it looks like an original oil painting (extra charge from me of £8.95 if you choose this option). 

Prices on special offer of only from: £19.99 for one person in the photo, too £49.99 for two or more people in the photo.

So don't delay. I need the money!

Leonard.gubbins@googlemail.com

Combining Jobs with my love of art.

I have recently started working for a home care agency as a bum wiper and cook. It's a great job really. The wages aren't too bad, but of course this isn't my real ambition in live. What I really want to be is a artist (with lots of money of course). I find drawing really easy, as you will see from the example below.


I love the dignity in this close up of her face. A face that must have seen so much over it's 80 odd years!

Ethel is a sweet old lady that I see every Thursday morning. She lives on here own, but despite this has taken a keen interest in my artwork. She thinks my artwork is lovely, and what better judge for the skill of my artistic ability than an old woman, who's had both cataracts done, and remembers how many children she had.


Unfortunately, I don't get much time with Ethel, as my visits are limited to just 15 minutes, so I could only do a very quick sketch - but she loves it and has shown it to her daughter! Here's the full sketch below:

Hope you like it. If you'd like a sketch doing of an old relative then please get in touch. Prices start from just £20. If it's a rush job (i.e. Granny might not last much longer) then the price will have to reflect this!

How much is too much?

I have often been asked how do I get into a line of business such as yours? I don't know what your line of business is, so I can't really answer that, but I assume they might mean (these people that I dream about) that what you mean is: How do you get into cartoons?


Cartoonists can charge anything they want to charge a customer. It's not like fridges. There is no Government price controls. Some charge £10 per cartoon (but they aren't very good if they are charging that much). and some charge £20 (these are usually better cartoonists). and sometimes as much as £2,000! It all depends how you want to use the cartoon. For instance, in my instance I would charge someone more money if they wanted to hang my cartoon in their through lounge, and I would charge less money if they just wanted to hang it in their downstairs lav. If they wanted a bespoke service, such as a limited run of tea-towels printing with a cartoon design of their favorite tortoise, or a much loved child for instance thus far and such like.

Hilarious Child/Tortoise Cartoon by Leonard Gubbins Design Studio Limited.

Life isn't easy being a cartoonist.

Sometimes I wonder how this works. I draw cartoons, and people buy them if they like them. Quite often people don't like them. This makes me sad. As sad as someone with a freshly seeded lawn that's just held a donkey derby.


How can I make people like my cartoons more? I can't change how I draw them, as this is how I draw them in my own unique style. It's an expression of who I am, and I can't go against that without becoming someone else. Some people call my art naive and immature, to which I disagree and shout at them for being so horrible. I won't deal with people like these.


Why oh why can't people just like my cartoons as much as I do? I think they are brilliant, and I used to watch Only Fools & Horses, well before it became popular with the rest of the country. Even google thinks my cartoons are brilliant. For instance, if you type into Google, "brilliant cartoons by Leonard Gubbins", this site will be the first result. Conclusive proof if anyone needed it.


Here's a picture of an old woman at the shops:

Hear's more unoriginal crap.

I'm stunned. Just this very morning (incidentally the three year anniversary of the death of my mothers next door neighbor of all days!) I discover that someone has been copying my hard work of hilarious cartoons and illustrations (at reasonable prices). 


I cannot understand why anyone would want to copy my highly original artwork, done using unique methods, that no one else should be using. Here' is the offending cartoon:

and here is the cheap copy:


As you can see the similarities are just staggering. Why would someone want to do this to me? I depend on drawings such as the above one thus. I'm sorry to say this, but if I ever find out who is pirating my hilarious cartoons (at reasonable prices) I shall have no option to sue them.