Election selection expectation...

Well wasn't that an interesting General Election. As some of you will be aware I have been indisposed during the actual voting process, and was unable to vote myself. It was quite a surprise to come home and find that we didn't have any Government at all.

I'm quite pleased to see a sensible looking man doing a number 10, instead of that Scottish man. I don't have anything against Scottish people's as such there thus, but I don't like Scottish men who don't have a beard. Call me strange. I Think all Scottish men should have beards, like in the movies. Everything should be like in the movies, but none of these so called politicians offered that you anyone, did they?

Well I think Mr Cameron would make a great prime minister. I don't know what Mr Brown is going to do now he's been sacked from the position by the Queen. It doesn't look good on anyone's CV when you've been sacked by the Queen does it? I'm sure he'll find something to do for a living. Perhaps he could work on the Shopping Channel?

Hand it 2.

In the secone tutorial in this series of how to draw hands in your cartoons, we are looking at how to drawer a hand that is grasping something very firmly. This can often be a very useful ability to have, particularly if you are illustrating a survival skills newsletter, or a boy scout manual, for instance.

As you can see it's very easy to do once you get used to it, it'll be second nature and you'll be doing this without even thinking about it, until your tea is ready. Just be careful not to stay up all night doing this, as you'll exhaust yourself in next to no time.

Instructions for hands.

I'm often asked how do I draw hands when I'm drawing my cartoons. Well, here is the first of many tutorials on drawing hands. We'll start with a 'grabbing' hand, or 'clutching' hand, which can be very important when drawing talent free cartoons such as thus:

Hairy wrists are entirely optional, and probably not appropriate if you are drawing a cartoon of a grasping woman, for instance.

Beware of women on the blob.

I was holding out for Cathy to write this article, but it looks like she is more concerned with Kitchen utensils and such like things like her garden furniture!

Women are extremely amusing when they have their periods, as anyone who owns one will know. They are snappy and unreasonable at the best of times, but they are even worst when they have the painters in so to speak, and this always makes a great subject for a greetings card, or Valentines card (too late for that). There's great humour in mild aliments like periods or the monthlies. Everyone loves to laugh at the angry lady, as it such where was thus.

This cartoon (like nearly all of them) is for sale for business use. Perhaps you have a lipstick discount store, or you sell books to feminists? Then this cartoon could be the ideal image for your poster campaign advert, just in time for the summer!

Cartoons for businessmen who can't draw them themselves.

I've noticed since becoming a professional cartoonist how many businesses don't use cartoons as their main way of promoting their businesses. I find this very strange. When I'm looking through the Yellow Pages to find a plumber to unblock my outside drain hole, I'm not going to be drawn towards one that doesn't use eye catching cartoons or illustrations in their advert. Plain text, or boring lists of qualifications don't mean that the plumber is going to be any good.

And besides. If he skimps on his advert by not spending something like £20 to a cartoonist to make his advert eye catching and humourous (people need cheering up when their toilets are blocked) then what eles has he skimped on? Does he have wonky brakes on his van, therefore possibly putting your Corgi in danger has he tries to turn around in your cul-de-sac? Perhaps he bought all his tools from some dodgy bloke in the pub, and he might break your u-bend while he's trying to remove all the Tena-Man.

But there's a solution to your problems if you're a business man and you can't draw cartoons. Hire a web cartoonist to draw the cartoon for you. Most web cartoonist can draw all sorts of things (but not horses).

Here's a few of the top three web cartoonist for hire for your project.

1. Leonard Gubbins
2. L.G.
3. Mr G

I'd be happy to help you with your project of course as well I would. Please send me plenty of details about your project, starting off with how much you are prepared to pay a cartoonist for drawing something for you for your business needs.

I am able to send you a rough draught 20 minutes after I get your briefs.

Content is king. Illustrations are like Jesters.

I am often asked what makes a successful blog, but I rarely answer that question, because I don't want just anyone to be able to replicate the Talent Free website I have created.

Well now I feel confident enough to confide in you, dear reader just what does make a successful blog. Firstly it's very important to identify your audience, but how do you do that, when you don't have an  audience, or don't know who your audience is. I would say to any blog author that there are some simple steps you can take to identify who are your audience and what do they want. This can be achieved by taking note of whole leaves comments on your blog or website and perhaps visiting their blog or website to see what sort of person they are and what sort of content you think they would like to read.


Content is very important. There's no use in providing excellent articles on something very intelligent, such as the physics of quorn, if your core readers are mud stupid for instance. Assuming that your readers are just a little intelligent (like this blog) then you can provide articles that get good Google rankings, and that real people will find interesting.


Clicking knees often prevent me from sitting at my desk for too long, so I'm going to have to leave this article there, but I think I've given you enough of a start to start writing excellent content for your blog, website or weblog.

I'm back. I'm thinking of you.

Well that was an interesting trip. I can't say where I've been because I was doing something top secret and I don't want to make all the agoraphobic visitors jealous. It involved going outside, and that's all I'm prepared to say. Indoor travelling just isn't my sort of thing.


While I was away from the website I'm pleased to see that My Paul Mahoney and Cathy whathername carried the torch for Talent Free by posting some wonderful articles. I will now burn the poloroids next weekend when I have my weekend barbaque next weekend as promised. Redvers poloroids will be posted as also promised!


When I got away from my trip I had many emails waiting for me for emails commissions for lots of exciting projects. I'm not going to be able to draw many Talent Free cartoons for a while, while I catch up with all the exciting projects, and I'm not going to be able to tell you what those exciting projects are due to client confidentiality reasons. Not even the one that wants a cartoon caricture design for their Weymouth holiday camp corportate DVD presentation or the one that wants my expert services as a prooof reader for their plumbing services web gateway portal website.


I might even have to get up early in the morning, and not watch cash in the atticc.


Onwards and upwards then with the cartoon artistic services and copyrighting business services (UK) limited.


I think that's enough for Google.