A very funny shop based cartoon.

Here's one of my latest cartoon gags that I have drawn. I think it's very funny, because the woman might not need a bag for her giant jar of honey, or she might not, or the shop assistant might be referring to her as some sort of bag. I think it's just marvelous, and so did Burt when I showed it to him. He thought I should enter in into the CCGB caption contest this week, but I'm not so sure. I think it would be unfair to amature cartoonists to post such a professional piece of work.

Talking of Burt, he's part of the reason I have sadly neglected this very website and have not updated. He's had health problems, but now the catheter is fitting he's doing much better. As long as the rash stays at bay, he should make an full 93% recovery, although he won't be able to drive his moped any more. I can't say much more, to protect Burt's privacy.

Back to the cartoon. I appriciate that many aspiring cartoonists would like to know how to become aspiring cartoonists like me, a professional.

Looking at the elements in the cartoon. I created a 3D effect (don't worry, you don't need glasses to see this, unless you need glasses to see other things) by creating a unique perspective, using a floorboard effect on the floor of the shop. I also hand shaded the cariatures in the cartoon, I did this by hand, and not by machine - as that would be cheating, and it also creates an unique style. One quick glance is all that's needed to see that it's one of my unique cartoons, although I have been spending some time on developing my "street" signature for when I next get something published.

In other news: I have been linked to  http://manis-philodita.blogspot.co.uk/ which is an urban breakaway cartoonist collective crew, I believe. That's nice. I hope I'll be able to contribute something to their wonderful* online magazine soon (Burt has another appointment this week, and I'd said I'd take him in the Micra.....so we'll see)

National Office of Importance: “Summer is here,” 1975

National Office of Importance: “Summer is here,” 1975: The three-season year had been in place in Britain since its formalisation by Wodecnute in the 9th Century, so when Prime Minister Harold Wi...

I believe in Dinosaurs.

Some people think that Dinosaurs died out many years ago and no longer exist. In fact, some people even think that Dinosaurs are extinct.

They are entitled to hold that view, but they are not entitled to share that view (although they do - to anyone who'll listen to them and read their books). Hold or share? Well, I'm here today to share the truth. The truth of what's really happening, and why the establishment want YOU to believe that the Dinosaurs are all dead.

I have to state that I have not seen a live Dinosaur in the wild or on a day trip to the countryside. BUT that is not evidence of something not existing. I have never seen Lionel Blair tap dancing and mincing around a seaside resort, but that doesn't mean he's not real, or existing, or not dead (and all like him)

The establishment want you to believe that Dinosaurs are all dead because they don't want you the great unwashed to panic if you see one. It wouldn't suit their agenda to destroy the values that those of us who believe in Dinosaurs, and low taxation we would like to preserve.

Here's some evidence of recent sightings of Dinosaurs:

1976 Arizona a police patrolman saw something that was quite dark and blurry in his headlights one night. He thinks it might have been a Pterosaurs and not an owl. There's no owls in that part of the desert.

2001 A Chinese man claims to have filed incorrect tax returns, blaming one of his many captive bred Stegosaurus he was farming for a Taiwanese gang of pirates for eating his paperwork. Afterwards he was compelled by the pirates to CHEW all the Stegosaurus up in a giant industrial mincer, to hide their illegal activities and then burn the resulting Dinosaur sludge. No one messes with Taiwanese pirates!

Finally, no Dinosaurs are still with us article is complete without an animated gif.

 

I'm sorry, I'm not supporting that!

I was asked the other day if I would support a charity collection of a few pounds (which I did have, having just been into the co-op for some value tea bags and a scratch card or two), however I was verily offended that I was being asked to support a medical charity for people with memory problems and incontinence.

It's not that I don't think that people with memory problems and incontinence shouldn't be supported, I however think that there's far more important things that should be supported firstly, and that this charity collector should perhaps be collecting money for poorly babies. WHEN there's no more poorly babies around, THEN maybe they could consider asking the general public, and the lower ranking public as well, for money for people with memory problems and incontinence.

Really, the cheek of some people!

What are you're thoughts on charity collectors collecting for the wrong sort of charity, as always, let me know your thoughts in the comment section below. Ones written in bold will get read by me first.

My Mate Dave is Insane.

Sometimes I'm asked by people I know if I will draw them a cartoon. Usually they expect me to do this for no financial compensation whatsoever. However if I ask Mike to look at my car, and perhaps do an oil change, he will still expect to get paid.

My mate Dave is insane. He's a really funny guy. I've told him before that he should do stand-up again. Sure, it didn't go down all that well at the school open day, but they weren't really the right audience for his style of edgy material. He's really funny, and as long as you've had a few drinks yourself, really not that offensive at all. I drew this cartoon for him (for free) as it reminded me of an incident in the mid 90's that I've promised never to repeat. I'm sure once he comes over to pick it up (he's got issues at the moment with his elderly mother/the inland revenue) he'll be hanging in his upstairs toilet (his mother cannot access this toilet due to her recent mobility issues.

*someone at the pub did say this looks remarkably unlike Dave, but I would like to point out this is my artistic interpretation of his features (and he's got a face that's really hard to draw). 

Dream cartoons.

Sometimes it's hard to come up with a good idea for a cartoon. As easy as it maybe to draw excellent cartoons (as I do), coming up with unique original ideas can be difficult at times. Even I feel that sometimes.

One solution I have found is to just listen to your dreams. Last night for instance, I had a dream that some people were being chased by a run-a-way bus (it was a red double decker!). I thought this would make a very interesting cartoon, especially for anyone who has ever been chased by a run-a-way bus. For others, it may seem amusing to some degree. It's one of those special cartoons that everyone can take something away from, from reliving abject horror of a near death experience, to maniacal laughter at watching people running for their lives.

If you would like this cartoon, or another one like it (I can draw taxis as well) for your newsletter or school presentation then please get in touch.
During the month of June I have some very special offers on reproduction fees:

Buy one cartoon, get another cartoon FREE. Cartoons start from just £20. This includes FREE emailing of the cartoon to the address of your choosing - WORLD WIDE service.

* Cartoons in Photoshop format will incur an additional fee of £3.49+vat.

Man bites off his own ear.

News reports are coming in from Betty across the road that last night there was an altercation with the Police, and the man that was being in the processed of being arrested, bite off his own ear!

Unfortunately, I have been unable to verify this report and have not got photographic evidence of this event, but I managed to find this on Google Images:

 I am not sure if this is the same sort of ear that was bitten off allegedly by the man, or why he was arguing with a policeman (to be honest, I'd long since retired to bed after my Cadbury's Options Drinking Chocolate). Betty could not furnish me with any further details as she needed to keep an appointment with her Craig's social worker , and when I phoned the police station in the capacity of a citizen reporter, the desk sergeant hung up on me!

Do you know a man with good teeth, and an ear missing? Perhaps he used to wear glasses, but is now unable to?

Please let me know.

How can I become a successful cartoonist?

How can I become a successful cartoonist? This is a question I once asked myself, before I became a successful cartoonist. Many "professional" cartoonists will try to tell you how difficult it is to make a decent living from drawing cartoons of a hilarious nature, but they are wrong.

People of all ages love cartoons. Any cartoons. Any age. People of as young as 10 or 12 love cartoons, although these are technically children, they are still people. Sometimes older people love cartoons as well, unless they are a little old and doddery and don't really understand anything anymore, or perhaps they have just lost their glasses.

People who have lost their glasses don't generally like cartoons, but rest assured that once they find their glasses again, or get a new prescription they love them again.

As a cartoonist you can draw all sorts of cartoons. I like to create unique cartoons using a unique drawing method that other cartoonists don't use, as I don't want to be like other cartoonists with their swimming pools and helicopters - I want to be unique, I want to be me!

I could spend hours and hours learning how to copy drawer cartoons just like other cartoonist, but I want people to be able to look at one of my unique and universally hilarious cartoons and just know it's something I've inflicted on them. This is important to me, as I don't want people to have to read the cartoon and then read a signature of who drew it. People are busy, and if they have to read a signature, they might not have time to read the cartoon (or look at it, if it is a visual cartoon).

What would the point of just having time to look at a signature, and not having time to look at the cartoon, especially if you are in a dreadful hurry to get out of the house to buy some new glasses so you can then appreciate cartoons your mind goes to mush and then you can't.

So in summery, people love cartoons. It doesn't matter how you create them, they will buy them. With a bit of luck they might buy more cartoons in the future - but don't fall for the old cliche of old cartoonists with helicopters. They are just protecting their business. They don't want new people to become cartoonists, because they have swimming pools.

Introducing a new comic book adventure...

I have been working very hard on my latest project, which is a comic book project about a worm called Woody, or as most people who have now read this will no him as, Woody Worm. In this adventure, which is illustrated in a unique style that has never been done before (all completed by using hands for instance) he has a very strange case of a missing bird table thief to find out about and see where he might be hiding so he can then reveal where he has been hiding and report to the appropriate authorities. BUT! The story has a unique twist which has never been done before on the pages of the web, the thief is in fact - a WOMAN!

This hilarious comic strip was design for a paying customer, who has had numerous problems with his mobile phone ever since I sent him the rough version of this exclusive story. He is unable to answer his phone from anyone who uses the same network that I use. Most frustrating!

I sent him an email demanding payment, or I would publish the cartoon on my website instead, and he did not respond. So here's it is. The woman with pink hair is his mother, BTW. Now she won't get her hilarious and unique birthday gift, and there loss is you're gain, dear readership of this thus blog/website.

If you'd like your family immorallised in a cartoon form, then please get in touch.

I can also draw snails quite well.

Free cartoons for Charities and good causes, that want to have some cartoons, but can't afford a professional cartoonist.

I have recently decided that I should offer my services to charities for no charge whatsoever. After a rather uncomfortable altercation with a certain local Mothers and Toddlers Church Group over some Mural artwork (it only looked like an appendage when all the strip lights in the Church hall were switched on at the same time), I have decided to refund 10% of their fee and offer my services to Charities for free from now on.

How do I find time in my hecktic sheduale to find the time for such endevours, I hear you ask me? Well for starters I have stopped watching Cash In the Attic. The programme just isn't what it used to be. Even Aire Hunters holds little appeal to me, knowing that there's some terrible charities out there in trouble, without any cartoons.

So that's at least 1 hour per day time in my studio that I can offer this unlimited offer until the end of April. Maybe you are a baby Hedgehog sancturary that needs some unique designs to be created for you by a talented individual, but you can't afford them? Well come to Leonard instead! All my services are free of charge (excluding legitimate expenses).

Some other types of Charities that might benefit from my unique skills of drawing and colouring by using my hands are:

A mobile bloodbank Charity
Running Charity for people in coma's 
Subsidence misuse Charity for tramps?
Family Planning Charity for a Bunny Sanctuary?
Irish Underwear collection Charity for the Third World

The posibilities are endless for good causes to get some unique cartoon artwork for their use on things like phamplets, brouchures, adverts, who knows, even tea towels!

*All designs have had unique copyright applied to them, but the Charities are allowed to use them for free, with written permission.

Very Good Cartoonists.

I have decided to dedicate some of my website to the great work of great good cartoonists (one's that actually make a living from drawing and selling cartoons for a living).

Thus, I extend this offer to all my readers. Do you know a Very good cartoonist, that would like to be interviewed on this very site for the reading pleasure of the readership of this website?

All cartoonist I interview (via email, I cannot travel due to the fuel crisis, and long standing environmental issues) will have the chance to have their work displayed right here, on TALENT FREE, for free. No charge and no obligation to draw anything they don't want to.

I would also like to interview people who aren't very good cartoonists, but have lots of enthusiasm and who know's, may improve one day, perhaps by reading interviews with cartoonists that are better than them right here on TALENT FREE.

Please contact me at leonard.gubbins@gmail.com 

Introducing My ALL new Childrens book.

I've always wanted to be a writer, but not having much time to devote to writing a proper book, I have come to the conclusion that it would be much easier to just knock out a Childrens book instead. 
This is an ideal project for me, for thus I can add some pictures to the book. This saves on words needed (children don't like books with too many words anyway, as everyone knows they are fundamentally lazy), and I possess unique skills in my drawing abilities of drawing 2 of the most difficult subjects in the world of cartoonists - FISH and BICYCLES!

So I introduce to you, loyal visitor - Geoffry the Bike Riding GOLDFISH ©.

Unfortunatly I haven't had time to actually write the story as of yet, but I thought I'd start with the front cover (for this is where I believe my potential readers will start anyway, and I can't see any sense in starting this book on, say, page 47)

I have spent most of the last 20 minutes thinking of some fun stories that Geoffry might get up to.

• Geoffry dodges his TV license fee, and hides from the dreded TV inspector
• Geoffry has his online shopping delievered by Asda or Tesco (needs more work to decide which works best for a GOLDFISH riding bicycalist).
• Geoffry gets into a nasty legal battle with his arch enemy, Sammy the Skateboarding Salmon.

I've based the stories I've yet to write down (but I have copyrighted them ©) on my own life, but I would like to state and not just for legal reasons, but for moral reasons as well, that I do possess a TV license. It's £145.50 per year and I pay by cheque.

Cartoons for your Business Special offer!

Hi, my name is Leonard, and I'm a very enthusiastic cartoonist and designer. I have experience of applying *very* special effects to my cartoons, which will give your business cartoons REAL impact that many other cartoonists won't offer. This month I have a special offer for window cleaners who are called Dave. Have this wonderful logo for your business (perhaps on your van, or if you don't have a van, you could have it made into a sticker for your bucket). As a special offer for this month only, I have added a special effect to this cartoon logo (normal price for such effects is £3.29).


You may have noticed that there's room for your phone number, which new customers who've seen your van/bucket will be able to phone to book you to clean their windows. Remember to ask about access to the back garden, and the situation with dogs etc.


** If you are called dave, and you do clean windows, but the hair is wrong then please get in touch. I could change the hair colour very easily, for a limited price of only £4.83.


Next week: I'm doing a business card for a plumber called Hank.

Cheap cartoon redesign services

I have a new and original idea for all small to medium (but not large) businesses out there that would like to make use of cartoon illustrations out there for their publications, advertising materials or leaflets.


As Nick Clegg DPM recently said, people must follow the business model of this most finest British business model. John Lewid's famous motto is "never knowing undersold", which got me to thinking about it somewhat.
Many businesses cannot afford to use the services of professional illustrators for their business, even though they would be able to stop sacking people and increase their business models tenfold. The solution I have come up with (all on my own without any assistance from the DPM) is this thus:


Customer approaches cartoonist/illustrator to use image in something. Cartoonist/Illustrator demands a high fee for their work (something like £1,000 for one image).


Customer then approaches Leonard Gubbins' design kit studio. We take that very same illustration and re-draw it exactly, therefor avoiding any copyright issues and charge a much more reasonable £19.90 + 10p admin fee.

Guess the celebrity characterature

Can you guess who this celebrity is?

I have decided to start the new year of 2012 with a fun contest for all my readers. How the contest works is thus: I draw a cartoon caricature of a well known TV or Movie celebrity, and then people leave comments stating what they think it is.


As you can see from this first (of many I hope) contest entry I have now become an accomplished cartoon caricature artist, making instantly recognizable caricatures of celebrity faces. I can also provide YOU with an unique gift for a loved one, or someone who is retiring (and you'll no doubt never see again before they die).


Contact me if you'd like a celebrity portrait caricature. Prices start from just £20 + VAT and fees.