Riots UK 2011 - The rejection Section.

Terryble crimes have taken place recently, which have been ignored now because of the situation in Libya. Understandablely.


Many of my cartoonist friends seem to have been very busy getting topical cartoons rejected by publications, so I thought I'd join in. Everyone else is doing it, so I'm going to as well.

Here's my hilarious cartoon on the riots: 


I also thought it would be very nice of me to offer this as a t-shirt that people could wear to show their support for the riots and their victims.

Blogging Advice.

I often get asked in PM and private emails that none of you have seen, but I do, about advice on how to become a blogger like me, which is nice. Firstly, it's of the upmost importance to ensure that you have a computer. Blogging without a computer is quite impossible. I'll assume that as you are reading this on my blog, you perhaps do have a computer.

What processor you'll need to write a blog depends on many factors, but you'll probably be OK with any CPU (computer programmining unit) manufactorered within the last 5 - 10 years. A keyboard would be very useful also. Basically, any computer connected to the internet will enable you to write a basic blog.

Once you have a blog next, you'll need some readers to read your blog. Where you might find these might vary from person to person. Perhaps you live on your own, and all your family have emigrated to another country, and you can't afford the phone call to instruct them all to follow your blog. A good way to get readers for your blog is to steal them from other blogs, by constantly posting comments on other people's blogs and ensuring that a link to your own blog is included. Most proffessional bloggers are OK with this, as that's how they got so many readers for their blog.

A WARNING!. When you have a blog, on occassion you'll get bitter and twisted people who will want to upset you and tell you that you got something wrong. Perhaps cats don't get their main source of calcium from eating garden snails, but you must never respond to such vile people. Never admit you've got something wrong. Once you do, all you'll get is other people pointing out your errors! Remember, spelling mistakes are your own unuiqe style.

Well, that ends this short article on advice on how to make a successful blog. I've included some pictures (actually, a selection of my own hand drawn cartoons, available from just £20 as that's something else you should always do on a blog post - include some pictures!)

How to be a successful cartoonist part 4.

I have been drawing cartoons for pleasure and also for business purposes for over 18 months now, and it has been an extraordinary experience learning all about the talent required and how to market my unique creations with the online community. I have drawn tea towels and also roadworks and everything in between.


Most people I speak to about my unique creations assume that some artistic skill is required in producing the type of cartoons that people want to buy and give away to friends and family as unique gifts and suchlike. I've managed to keep families together with my off-beat humorous creations. Stave off divorce (sadly not my own, but that's another story), and have also helped online companies increase their sales targets, therefore I have also saved the small business economy and several jobs in the print on demand tea towel industry! 


PANTS.


I have also helped companies to develop a new range of underwear, based my my humorous designs and unique take on art and design. Quite frankly, I'm brilliant. And I'd like to share my unique techniques with my dear readership on this very blog.

FAQ.

• How do I get ideas for drawing cartoons? I can draw people wearing trousers quite well, but I can't draw a halibut to save my life.
• This is one of the most frequent, frequently asked question I get asked, as a question, and I'd like to answer it like this: Where to get ideas from? Put simply everywhere! All good cartoonists always carry a notebook with them. Whenever you get an idea you must write it down immediately, and make sure your notebook is always fully charged. All good cartoonist, therefore never stray too far from a friendly electrical socket!
• Here's a list of subjects that might give you an idea or two (remember if you sell a cartoon from one of your ideas that you get from this blog, I would like a credit within the cartoon!)
• Cowboys, Indians, cuttlefish, old women weeing themselves in a small post office branch, cavemen doing something like we might do, but in caveman type way (think, Flintstones!), car mechanics ripping off customers, dental nurses loosing patient records, Magazine subscription that never arrives, vomiting cats, shoppers realizing they've left that important voucher at home!, someone listening to the radio, with a poorly budgie!

Well I hope that's given you some starting points and gives you an idea of how to be a successful cartoonist. If you become I successful cartoonist because of these articles, I would love to hear from you. Please write to: leonard.gubbins@gmail.com Many thanks.

How do I sleep in a chair?

I have often been asked advice on such matters as such like and thus, but this week I am going to answer a query from a local person who I have been interacting with therefor whom within the environment of the street local to my own adobe.


This person, whom wished to remain anonymous, question was:


"sometimes I'm just too tired to go to bed at night, and have been thinking about sleeping in my arm chair. How would I go about doing this?"


That's a very interesting question that I would have very much enjoyed answering for my local fellow inhabitant of my local area, but I was in a hurry to rush home and sit down and write a blog post about arm chairs instead.


Firstly we need to know what an arm chair is.

This is not a chair. It is a stool, and consequently it is most unsuitable for sleeping in.

This is a chair, but it is only suitable for seating in, not sleeping in (or on depending on your political personification. 

This is much more like thus the item of furniture that we was discussing just outside the happy shopper.

Instructions for use:

1. Sit in the chair
2. Read a book, or watch a television. (it doesn't matter what kind, Sony, Phillips, Samsung even)
3. Wait until you are tired.
4. DO NOT GO TO BED AT THIS POINT!
5. When you feel yourself drifting off to sleep let yourself go.
6. Now get a cloth from the kitchen and clean the chair.
7. Once chair is dry again, re-enter it and repeat process 1 - 4
8. Wake up next morning any make appointment with a chiropractor.